2011

I look at this blog here and realize there's a lot more I would have liked to have written over the last 12 months. I don't have a good excuse for this other than time was spent on other things. Much of the time was wasted I must admit though some of it was spent doing things I enjoy or had made a commitment to do so it just didn't get done. There are things in my head that I hope to one day articulate into this blog. I hope to be a person that is transparent in my life…an open book. I often wonder though if some things once I written out should be kept for personal reflection. I guess in the end that will be a decision I will make and will be known most likely only be me.

Anyway this is not the time for those things but to reflect on how 2011 turned out. Like 2010 and all year's past in reflection I see nothing less than that God is faithful. Here are 11 moments or things from 2011 that will stick with me for one reason or another:

1. Opening The 86. It took close to a year for us to get this thing open and on April 1st, 2011 that is what happened. It is what kept me here in Cincinnati. It has had it's share of difficulties but has brought a ton of joy as well. The crew at The 86 is family and I wouldn't want to work with anyone else. We have had some great shows over the last few months. Here is the footage so far with more to come as soon as I have time to edit and post:

2. Thank You For Being A Friend Tour happening at my house. Dan Smith contacted me and The 86 about this tour. The problem that arose was that the date given was a Sunday. I offered my house and after the unsuccessful search for other locations it was finally confirmed that this would happen. Lisa, who also works at The 86 offered to help me put this on so I didn't have to try to collect money, deal with sound, and other little things. Another music scene friend Carissa came out to support along with many, many other friends. This was a show that likely will never be topped as far as house shows go. The turnout was probably larger than my basement could handle so it was a good thing that Derek Zanetti of The Homeless Gospel Choir came up with the idea to do it in the back yard. Josh Scogin, vocalist for The Chariot, was also on this little tour. He brought up the idea of shooting a The Chariot video in my basement. I am all for it if it were to happen. Anyway, this night was a snapshot of why I open my house for these kind of events to build community with other music lovers. It also seems to open up conversation of eternal things with the artists and others who come to enjoy the event most of the time as well. I believe God is using these opportunities. This is why I do what I do. Here are the playlists that highlight that night:

3. Cornerstone 2011. It started with a bang…literally. We were blindsided by a storm the first night we were there. So much for the plan to have a relaxing first day before the gates open. Though my little "slug" tent survived and I got to sleep in it while the others had to sleep in cars, we spent the next day rebuilding the many destroyed tents and canopy. We also spent time at a laundromat for those who needed to dry their bedding and clothes. After all that excitement, then we got to enjoy the live music and community that Cornerstone provides each year. There was speculation this could be the end of Cornerstone but it appears that this favorite annual event will go on. Here is a playlist of all that Cornerstone was to me:

4. Growing Closer To My Friends. Going to shows with a few other people this year instead of always doing it alone allowed me to grow closer to some friends. Lisa, Josh, Tara, Gabrielle, and Russ all were traveling friends to one or more shows. Working at The 86 allowed this to happen with some of the same friends and some others. Booking my own shows also did this. This I no doubt believe will continue beyond this year but it was important to me so I included it here.

5. GothiCon. New friends were made and I saw a beautiful communal gathering of a subculture often misunderstood. Many things came against the ministry that put this together as well as against those of us of The 86 who opened our venue and our lives to this event but God used all of it for good. We enjoyed it and hope it can occur again soon.

6. Headnoise/Deadhorse Show. Once again I recruited help from Lisa and Carissa came by as well and things went pretty good for this show until Deadhorse was nearing the climatic end of their set and the power went out. Upon further investigation it was found that the whole block was without power at least if not a greater area and power was not expected to be restored for several hours. Headnoise decided to do their very first acoustic set of three songs on the front porch where a little light from a neighboring building that likely has a generator allowed us to see a little bit and listen. Robert Goodwin said a prayer to close the evening and there were many great conversations about what it is we do and how our faith is in it. I hope to have another opportunity to work with Headnoise again in the future.

7. Destroy Nate Allen Show. I think what makes this particular show stand out in my mind over the others that I didn't mention on here was the aftershow. Nate contacted me first in 2010 when I didn't have a space to use for a show. He contacted me again early in 2011 trying to set up the summer tour but originally it didn't look like it would work out. In the end it did as I delayed my trip to Warren, PA by a day. This show happened the day after returning from Cornerstone. The DNA set happened outside in the yard like the Listener show and though what DNA does is a bit bizarre, it was a good time. After the show, Nate & his wife and performance partner asked to go out for dinner and spend more time together. Lisa called me to see if the show was still going on. She ended up having to work. She ended up meeting us at Skyline to eat. I learned during the dinner conversation some things I feel will benefit me moving forward with my personal ministry with both The 86 and doing house shows. It also seemed that Nate and I have dealt with some similar issues in our desire to minister to the people we are in constant contact and community with through the live music scene. I appreciated this time we had. Here are the playlists from that show:

8. Shows In General. All the shows I went to were great! All the shows I worked on either at The 86 or at the house were also great! It is my joy working with bands regardless of where. I love live music. In my opinion there is nothing like it. The potential to build community with others who support independent and local music is why I do this. Oftentimes the opportunity to share my faith comes through this. As I said before, some friendships were strengthened through the shared experience of the live shows and traveling to/from them. The performance is another reason I love live music. The music itself is great but there is something special that only comes from a performance. That is why I film a lot of live shows too. The house shows were able to continue even with the strife in the house and the separation of it. Philip has the two upper floors and I have the first and basement. Pomegranates practiced for a time when there were no shows going on and I had anywhere from one to five happen per month. I will continue doing this as long as I can. I will always enjoy live music

9. Pittsburgh. The Pirates were competitive for the first time in nearly 20 years and I had the opportunity to catch a game at PNC Park so I did. I also got to visit with my friend Joe for the first time in several years at Rolland's - a restaurant where he serves. I enjoyed a free meal before the game and we hung out for a while afterwards before I returned to my parent's in the wee hours of the morning before my return to Cincinnati. Pittsburgh feels like home. Will it be? I don't know but I am open for the possibility.

10. Going HD. I switched up some of what I use to create the videos I have created. I first bought Final Cut Pro for a great price (about 1/3 retail) on ebay and came to find that my macbook was not up to the proper standards to handle Final Cut Pro. I returned to ebay to find another great deal on a mac mini which I would run through my HD television. I went to ebay once again to find another great deal and picked up a high definition JVC camera. Unfortunately the first one was stolen but God blessed me with a second one for even cheaper on ebay. I lost about 6 hours of footage which bummed me out but I was able to replace and move forward rather quickly and important events such as Cornerstone was documented for those of us who care to see.

11. Going vinyl. I became closer friends with Brent Lakes who runs Broken Circles Records. Some similar tastes in music led to my purchases of artists who he was pressing to vinyl. I borrowed my parents stereo to start but then purchased my own and have come to enjoy the difference in vinyl enough that I keep my eye out for vinyl editions of albums from bands I happen to like quite a bit.

2011's best music I acquired (in my debatable opinion)

1. Beneath The Oaks (ep)

2. Blindside - With Shivering Hearts We Wait

3. Civil Wars - Barton Hollow

4. Cool Hand Luke - Of Man

5. The Homeless Gospel Choir - You Work So Hard Just To Be Like Everyone Else

6. Jawbone - Loss Of Innocence

7. Josh Garrels - Love & War & The Sea In Between

8. Life In Your Way - Kingdoms

9. Pomegranates - In Your Face Theives/Chestnut Attic

10. Sleeping Giant - Kingdom Days In An Evil Age

11. The Scurvies - Don't Let Me Go

*honorable mention goes to Wooden Heart by Listener…not a 2011 release but released in 2011 on vinyl by Broken Circles Records which is when I got it.

The 86 - Blood, Sweat, & Tears!

http://the86club.com

On Friday, April 1st, 2011, the 86 opened to the public...this was nearly a year in the making and two and a half years in the waiting for what was to come!

When the 86 was coming together and a location was being found, I was leaving Covenant with some question about what it was I would do. God’s timing is great while at times quite stressful. Throughout the process of purchasing the building where the ministry of The 86 takes place, Chris and Monica Human took a leap of faith believing that the money would be there when it was needed and at the last possible moment, it was there! Anytime during the cleaning and renovating that supplies or help was needed the funds, supplies, or people would be there! So many of us involved in this thing don’t have the most financially stable lives or jobs but we believe in the vision of Chris and Monica and in this ministry and put everything we could into it alongside them.

The week leading up to the opening many long days were put in trying to get everything done. We didn’t get everything done but enough was accomplished to open without much of a hitch. Tom Conlon, one of the artists scheduled to perform during the Grand Opening, was at the club helping until 4am in the morning on Friday so that things could be ready to go at 8pm on Friday night. People worked right up until the doors opened to get things done. When all was said and done, it felt right to be back with these people working to provide not just entertainment but a community of hope and love to a population that doesn’t feel they are loved or a sense of hope in this dark world.

The location of The 86 is perfect to be reaching the people we feel led to minister among...the very same people that seem to be drawn to us for some reason or another. The name of the club alludes to the rejection by society (and in some ways the rejection of society) of the rocknroll crowd. Many of us involved in the ministry also have been the rejected. We have found a hope in Jesus Christ the fulfilled us and gave us a purpose in this life and we want to share that hope to everyone that crosses our path.

The 86 will be a welcome place. We believe it will be life changing. There are so many other things in the works for The 86 such as studios, practice spacs, artist and band development, and apartments as well as the various ministries that each of these opportunities will bring. We are committed to this and have great anticipation for what is to come now that we are on the other side of the grand opening!

Financial needs remain unfortunately...if you happen to have anything you could give please visit the ministry website and donate. Your money goes completely into serving the community with this club.

http://86ministries.com

HERE WE GO PITTSBURGH!

I've been in Ohio for the most part since the fall of 2001. While attending Mount Vernon Nazarene University I was still technically a Pennsylvania resident so my loyalty to Pittsburgh was more scoffed than questioned by the Brownie fans that I was surrounded by as well as the Bungles fans. Even when I moved to Mansfield in 2005 the fact that I am from Pennsylvania made sense on why I am a Pittsburgh fan. It wasn't until I moved to Cincinnati in 2007 that people had expectation that I would abandon the teams I grew up rooting for in favor of the Bungles?!? Sorry guys, but that's just not going to happen.

My move to Ohio has had nothing to do with sports but for opportunities in ministry. I am currently in Cincinnati because a ministry brought me here...I remain because of an opportunity I believe in called The 86 Club. No, it wasn't the sports that brought me here but God and it has been God that's kept me here along with an amazing music scene and community.

I was born in 1980 so I missed the glory years of the 1970s when Pittsburgh was the city of Champions. The Steelers won their fourth Super Bowl a few months before I was born in early 1980 and from what I can tell, the 80s was a decade to forget for Pittsburgh fans. That's ok, because I didn't really pay attention to sports at that time.

In 1990 the Pirates ended the decade slump for professional sports by winning the Eastern Division and going to the NL Championship where they would lose to the Reds and they went on to win the World Series. The Pirates won the Eastern Division again in 1991 and 1992 and lost the NL Championship to the Atlanta Braves those years spawning and intense dislike for that team. And so began what stands at this point is an 18 season losing streak with no end in site.

In 1991 and 1992 the Penguins won their first ever Stanley Cups making Pittsburgh a City of Champions again. Though it was a bit of a roller coaster ride in the years in between, the Penguins have again risen to greatness and won another Stanley Cup in 2009 with a revenge beating of the Detroit Red Wings after coming up just short the year before losing to the Red Wings. Currently expectations are high that the Penguins will continue to be a contender for the forseeable future.

The Steelers remained competitive year in and year out since Cowher took over having only three losing seasons. Cowher was able to take them to two Super Bowls and win one of those and now Tomlin has matched that in less time possibly surpassing it if the Steelers win this Sunday against the Packers.

In college sports my loyalties lie with Penn State (Joe Paterno) and University of Pittsburgh. Penn State won two National Championships in my lifetime and is a consistent competitor for the Big Ten Championship every year. Pitt is a consistent contender for the title of the Big East in both football and basketball.

I began to pay attention to sports in the 90s when I started to play. Naturally I was a Pittsburgh fan due in part to the location of my upbringing, in part due to the success of the Pirates and the Penguins at the time, and largely due to my family influence of Pittsburgh support. My parents and Uncles were around to experience the greatness of the 70s. My grandfather had to suffer through the inept teams the preceded the Noll era and the winning. At least for him, the Pirates won Championships in the 1960 and 1971. Strangely, at that time, in Warren, PA we didn't get Pittsburgh channels. The cable provider explained that the hills were too big when asked why. Apparently the hills shrunk by the late 90s and I was able to watch Fox Sports Pittsburgh but as a pay per view channel. After leaving for college it changed to free so when I am back I get a chance to watch it still. Prior to the hills shrinkage, I would get to see the Pirattes on TBS, a New York network that showed the Mets, occasionally on ESPN if the game wasn't blacked out, and on WGN when visiting my great grandparents in Tidioute - a town south of Warren who got Fox Sports Pittsburgh a few years sooner than Warren.

I suppose since Warren, PA is about equal distance from Cleveland as from Pittsburgh I could have given my support to the teams there or maybe Buffalo which is a bit closer. In the early 90s, the Bills were able to get into the Super Bowl four times in a row which is quite the achievement. I rooted for them each time but they lost each time and then the Steelers returned to their winning ways. The Sabres made it to the Stanley Cup finals in '99 and once again I rooted for Buffalo but they lost. The Cleveland Indians made it to the World Series in the 90s and I rooted for them in '95 (they were playing the hated Braves) but I had to go with the former PIrates manager Jim Leyland leading the Marlins to victory in '97. These other cities with major league professional sports closest to my hometown have not been the City of Champions like Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh has brought two Super Bowl Championships with hope for a third this week and three Stanley Cup Championships. It is indeed the City of Champions!

Pittsburgh has a blue collar mentality and it shows in its teams. The Steelers are easily the toughest football team out there. Say what you want about Ben Roethlisberger's personal life (I know you Brownie fans will continue to tastelessly point that out) but he is the toughest quarterback in the league. Steeler football has been known for its run offense and defense. Roethlisberger has brought a new element with his ability to shake off hits and make passing plays and occasionally run the ball himself. The Penguins especially this year has become a tough team with adding guys not afraid to drop the gloves and they are proving they can winwithout their superstars

In moving to Ohio, I did not abandon my roots nor will I ever. I am loyal to Pittsburgh sports. When people tell me I should become a Cincinnati fan I ask would they switch if they were to move to Pittsburgh. That remark is met with disgust and should be enough proof as to why I haven't switched loyalty just because I switched geography. Certainly it helps when Pittsburgh teams are proven winners and with the exception of the Pirates the management makes a point to ensure a consistency of winning teams. For the record, I do root for the Cincinnati Cyclones who have had two championship teams since I've moved to Cincinnati...but that is minor league (the only Ohio major league sports team to win a championship in my lifetime is the Cincinnati Reds and they beat the Pirates to get there).

In football, I have more respect for Bengals fans than I do Brownie fans. The Bengals fans have realistic expectations of their team and realize when they aren't playing so great whereas the Brownie fans will believe they are on the verge of a Super Bowl even when it is impossible for them to get there (such as having been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention). Both sets of fans seem to have an undeserved sense of entitlement though but the Brownie fans are much more obnoxious about it. Typically you have to win to earn the right to talk trash…

In the event that Pittsburgh isn't in a playoff for whatever reason, I will often root for the Bengals, Reds, or Bills if they were to make it. I cannot bring myself to root for Cleveland teams (since '95 when I rooted for the Indians). Besides the legacy of losing in Cleveland, I just plain don't like that city nor the teams there. I find it hilarious when they lose. I do have friends there that l love and enjoyed a few good rock shows up that way over the years but generally, Cleveland just plain sucks. It's a shame I have to drive through it to get from Cincinnati back to Warren, PA. No matter how rough a day may be, the realization that I'm not in or from Cleveland is enough to make things much better!

Yes, I am a born and raised western Pennsylvanian Pittsburgh sports fan and proud of it and that won't change. I have a glimmer of hope that the Pirates will one day end the 18 season losing streak but live in the reality that the real sports happen in the fall and winter. In my lifetime I have been witness to three Stanely Cup winning seasons for the Penguins and two Super Bowl winning Steelers teams out of three appearances. The Steelers have the most Super Bowl Champions in the NFL and will be trying to win a third for my lifetime and seventh overall. I believe that they will win it and I will be watching on Sunday with my terrible towel in hand right after I watch the Pittsburgh Penguins play and hopefully beat the Capitals. I know there will be seasons were the teams I love won't do well and I will acknowledge when it happens. For the Penguins and the Steelers…this is not that year!

HERE WE GO PITTSBURGH! HERE WE GO!

The 10 Great Things Of 2010

I had a habit of trying to write out a year in review the last couple years but I don't feel like doing so this time so Here's a highlight of 10 moments that are worth thinking about from 2010:

1. God is faithful. God is alive and moving. This could have been a very rough year but there was peace throughout the uncertainty and chaos that can only come through God. Leaving behind some of the things that come with denominations and doctrine was helpful in opening me to experience this. God is too big to be defined by one person's ideology. I feel I came to better understand this over the last few years and though I am thankful for my roots and what I have been taught, I know there is more of God to be experienced and I don't want to limit how God works with preconceived ideas. I am trying to be open to the possibilities beyond what I am comfortable with or know about. Thanks to those who have been part of Witler House, the 86'd crew and all the communities surrounding them both. You have meant more than you could ever know.

2. 86Ministries and the 86 Club beginning and taking shape and the ministry that has already begun. I believe this is will be an incredible ministry and has been key to my staying in Cincinnati. It's been a leap of faith for so many of us involved but God has provided when we needed it. On a personal, side note: if you are able, it would mean a lot if you could support what we are doing. go to http://86ministries.com then go to give and see what areas in which we need help.

3. My house! 4114 Witler is home for now and I am excited about the possibilities of what can be done in this space. So far, I have opened it up for a few concerts and allowed friends in bands to stay when they needed. I do intend to submit the house to RYFO to hopefully expand the ability to help artists who need it by providing a place to rest or play a small house show. Currently Phillip Smith is the only other resident in a house that can easily hold up to five people so in the coming year I hope to find others interested in living in community at this house to join us here.

4. The last show I booked/put on at Covenant. The lineup and all the people involved in it made this a night to remember for a very long time. I can't think of a better way to end my time with Covenant than what happened that night and with my friends new and old.

5. The show at Covenant on Good Friday. There was a special movement of the Spirit that night that I for one felt and even with some uncertainty swirling around me as to the future there was peace on this night and Mark Nicks (of Cool Hand Luke) had some good things to say and good music to share.

6. Having bands play house shows in my house. It was a thrill to have Deadhorse, The Never Setting Suns, Sacred Spirits, Jonathan Hape, Silent Tongues, Bear (The Ghost), and Wild Talents amongst others play in the basement. Hoping this continues in some way even after the 86 Club opens.

7. All the wonderful friends I met through putting together concerts. This bleeds back to 2009 as well. I am so glad that I could continue to work with you even after the end of my time at Covenant. I am excited to see what is to come. Most importantly, I am glad to know each of you and call you my friends.

8. Cornerstone. This will probably always be on a list of highlights of my year because simply it is a highlight of every year. I will add to this for the third year a highlight of the autumn season has been going to Unified Underground. both events have been inspiring and refreshing each time I go.

9. Building relationships in the Cincinnati D.IY. community and the opportunities to reach out within that to host shows that probably would otherwise never have come to Covenant which has led to the opportunity to open up my basement for some shows since moving in to the house. There are great things going on within this and hopefully it can continue strong.

10. Reconciliation…enough said.

Favorite 10 Albums of 2010 (that I can think of currently); going to go with Alphabetical Order by Artist here:

1. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat The Devil's Tattoo

2. The Chariot - Long Live

3. Deadhorse - We Can Create Our Own World

4, Flatfoot56 - Black Thorn

5. For Today - Breaker

6. Never Setting Suns - And Now We Are Not Alone

7. Pomegranates - One Of Us

8. Psalters - Ch. 7

9. Strength Within - Things We Speak Of

10. The Trigger Code - No Preparation For Parting

I Am Thankful

This year, I am very aware that God is in control and couldn't possibly be more thankful that that is true. I lived with so much uncertainty the first few months of the year and if it was up to me, I probably would have left Cincinnati shortly after Cornerstone to live in Pittsburgh or something. Instead with my exit from Covenant along with my losing the resources to book and promote shows came a new opportunity to get on board with whatever is in store with The 86 Club and 86ministries. The final two shows at Covenant were great! Many friends shared those last days with me and it was apparent to me that God was there too and the Holy Spirit moved in the place. After the exit, I have been blessed with the time to help with the destruction and renovations of the 86. In this time I continued in another transition to working with Walk of Joy exclusively (and leaving SupportCare) along with a paper route. Though these aren't the most ideal job situations, they have allowed me to pay all my bills mostly on time and afford some extra things here and there as well. I am so excited to see what comes in 2011 with the opening of the 86 and Vineyard Uptown who has joined in and will share the ministry space with the 86.

I am also thankful for the new place to live at a very affordable price. Part of the 86 Club building is two apartments. I had asked to live in one and was waiting for the renovations to complete for that to happen when I was asked if I might want to move into a house on Witler Street. I checked the place out and was amazed that it was in such good condition for such a low monthly rent with no lease. I accepted the offer and just after officially moving in, put on my first house show! At this point I have one other house mate and hope in time that a few others will move in as well. I also plan to make the house available when I can for other shows when I'm not involved with one at the 86 Club as well as make the house available for bands needing somewhere to stay during their travels.

I am thankful for the many friends I have in Cincinnati that supported me through the year in prayer and giving correction and advice when I needed it. I have never been happier in a "church" as I have been at the Witler House and love that I now live just two doors down from it. I am very excited about the opportunity to be starting into a new ministry (86ministries.com) with Chris and Monica Human as well as the rest of the crew (Josh, Cindy, Chris, Jon & Becky, and Melissa). There is a vision here that cannot be ignored and so far the blessings of God to make it this far have been amazing and so fun to see as they happen. I am thankful as well for my family and the fact they support what I want to do and feel called to do even if it doesn't make sense to them.

Finally, I am thankful for reconciliation. Life is too short for people to hold things against each other. I don't want to hold on to any anger or bitterness and certainly hope that others don't hold anything against me. I have made a point to reconcile with a few others this past year and hope that forgiveness has come from those I have forgiven.

If there is anything I have learned recently, it is to trust in God to lead. God does a better job than we can ever do on our own. Often times we aren't patient or faithful enough to wait on God to lead or even listen when He does but as I have come to be open to the Truth even more this year, I have also come to experience the joy of following the Holy Spirit's leading.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Three Years in Cincinnati

It's been just over three years as a resident of Cincinnati and more specifically, Northside. I reflected on my first year anniversary of living here but didn't take the time to do so at the second. I guess partially due to my being busy booking shows at that time with Covenant, working full time with SupportCare and trying to manage a way to step down to part time if I could swing getting financial support from Covenant or something.

I guess I decided to write at this time to share the exciting journey through life that God has given me this past year which surpasses anything that happened the previous years.

Ever since moving here I desired a more significant role at Covenant but never was too sure what that meant. After that first year was completed, Covenant moved into a new building providing an opportunity to embrace something I felt that Lord had placed in me so I brought it up to Abe (pastor of Covenant). I was serving with him and his wife Joni at Covenant. Covenant was my reason for even moving to Cincinnati in the first place. I worked for SupportCare because it was the first job I could find that would allow me to go through the open door. I found a small apartment on the corner of Hamilton and Chase that was suitable though a bit cramped.

Around the same time as Covenant was blessed with a larger building to occupy, I along with my friend Chris Human went to Unified Underground where I felt compelled to be involved in some way in the local underground music scene...personally I felt most drawn to the punk subculture but in Cincinnati its rather small.. It seemed from the conversation with Abe that this was something Covenant would also like to embrace so I began seeking the opportunities to do so. It took until January 2009 for the first of what would be many opportunities to book and manage a show. That opportunity came with a good friend from my days in Mansfield, Jonathan Hape. That first show was an enjoyable though low key event lasting little more than an hour and a half but laid the ground work of what was to come. The next opportunity came in early April where I used the room designated for shows though this was probably more suitable than sanctuary with another northern Ohio friend who now resides in Nashville.

As the year went on I had the privilege of working with many bands and in July at Cornerstone Festival I felt a deeper calling in that I wanted to work with bands who weren't necessarily Christians and whose audience was not necessarily Christians. I began feeling that my place may not be at Covenant and when bringing up the possibility of working outside Christian music to Abe I was prepared to walk away if he did not see the value in this. Abe once again seems to embrace my vision so I continued on doing shows at Covenant. As things progressed and became very busy and more and more responsibility was being required of me at SupportCare, I asked Covenant to provide some financial support so I could dedicate myself to the ministry to the artists and the subculture. Though it wasn't quite what I asked for and took longer to kick in, the support finally came in November. In the meantime I attended the Cincinnati CCDA event where I learned a few things and noticed a focus on racial reconciliation that is very important though I feel even more important would be a focus on changing the culture than making folks feel guilty for being born in white middle class America. The weekend before this I once again went to Unified Underground where God affirmed my calling to work in the musical subcultures and with artists. I got to see a number of friends from bands and other towns and observed other artists I wanted to work with and would in the coming year.

It was also around this time that I found myself involved with the Witler Street house church and community surrounding it. I began to feel more that this was my home church than Covenant as I felt more and more disconnected from Covenant. I wasn't really in the loop as to what was going on there anymore but I continued to pursue my calling booking mostly indie bands though now and then getting the opportunity to work with punk, hardcore, and even goth. In December, I had the privilege to finally put on a show that was without any Christian bands. It went very well, the bands were very respectful of my requests there were in place out of respect for the church facility and the ministries that occur there. It was such a good event that we decided to do a second event in January that went equally as well.

Though the shows were going well and having an amazing impact, My life was headed into a cloud of uncertainty as 2010 began. One of the developmentally disabled individuals I worked with at my now part time job ended up dying in mid January as I was waiting for the financial issues at Covenant to be ironed out with the promise that I would be reimbursed. I was in a pretty rough spot financially. In a meeting with Abe I  was told that I would not be receiving support any longer. That night I worked on one of the toughest shows so far. It was a Haiti benefit show that was with punk bands that aren't Christians and though it was a great outreach, they were much less respectful of the requests I had given as before to respect the church facility and ministries that occur there than the previous attempts.

At the meeting that day as Abe left and I began setting things up for the show, I felt I needed to re-evaluate what to do. I told Abe to find another van driver for that Sunday at least and ended up not attending service at Covenant. I was a bit upset by the decision that I would not be supported any longer and felt it better to take time away than to go there with the bitterness I felt and possibly say or do something I could regret. From there I ended up covering some shifts at work that interfered with Sunday services and eventually took on a permanent Sunday shift that would not allow for me to attend Covenant on Sundays. I tried for a while to continue attending Wednesday evening services regularly but in time that became less frequent. In March, I booked the two shows for the month on back to back nights. I had to cancel one of the shows two days prior to it happening due to a scheduling conflict at Covenant which was out of my hands. After dealing with this, I requested a calendar of events which led to another meeting with Abe and this time Joni was there as well. Sadly, this meeting didn't go very well from my perspective. I went into it feeling this was probably going to reveal my time at Covenant would be coming to a close. I was asked what my plans were and I did not have a clear answer. There were two concerts planned for April and so I was told that they would be my last until I could determine my plans from this point. I respected that decision though what was said next was taken hard by me and confirmed the end of my working relationship with Covenant. I was asked if I wanted to continue with Covenant I must find employment that will work around Covenant anytime that they wanted me to be available. I felt this was an unreasonable request. Along with this was a debate on the start time of the last scheduled show. This led to harsh words. I felt I was being reasonable to ask for compromise but it seems Abe and Joni didn't see it that way and so we could not come to an agreement.

I made a few calls and confirmed a few bands to make these final shows the best they could possibly be as well as let a few close friends know that my time with Covenant would be done after April. I was given some good advice and had some good feedback and went on with the plans for these shows.

Both shows were amazing and Spirit filled and had fairly good turnouts. Many friends were at the last one especially which was a night to remember. After the shows I moved all the gear out to my tiny apartment and made one last appearance on a Sunday morning at Covenant to say my goodbye. Things continued to be somewhat strained between Covenant and I but I want to be sure it is known that some reconciliation was made in October that should allow for healing. There were wrongs on both sides and things said that should never have been said. I would say the reasons are because I invested a lot into Covenant as did Abe and Joni and we both cared for the aspects we were part of so the passion led to tempers flaming. No excuses really but it's sadly the way things go with humanity.

In the time since leaving Covenant, The 86 Club (http://86ministries.com) became my passion. I only work 20 hours a week now, mostly on the weekends. This is with Walk of Joy who I joined technically in October. I quit with SupportCare in May due to being frustrated with where the company was heading. I was also doing a paper route by this time every night so I didn't need to continue working all 3 jobs. Things moved forward with the purchase of Top Cats in Clifton and the Humans made The 86 Club a reality so I have spent many weekdays helping with the renovations and at this point the club should open in January 2011. In the meantime we have held a Bible Study called the Connection. I have also continued to be part of the Witler community and as usual went back to Cornerstone.

Part of the plans for the 86 Club include apartments in the building. I had interest in living in one of the apartments and was waiting for this to happen. In August, a house was shown to me on Witler Street just two houses down from "The Witler House" so I checked it out and was blessed to move into the house. The plan for this house is to have a total of 5 guys living in community in the house as well as use the basement for live music. Three shows have happened so far: Deadhorse with locals twice and a hardcore show. So far it seems these shows are going well.

What does this mean?

I definitely feel that I am to minister in the music scene. I will use this house to do it by providing space for bands to stay if they need it and hosting house shows in the basement when I'm not working with the 86 Club. Once things get somewhat organized in the house after the move I will submit the house to RYFO to join the network and become available to those traveling artists needing hospitality. I will be helping in all ways possible at the 86 Club in whatever ways they chose to put me to use. Besides the live concert venue and the Connection Bible Study, there is plans for studios, practice spaces, and hostels for bands to use and plans to be open during the week for folks to come in for coffee or to relax. Basically, There is a ton of potential with this club and ministry that I will plug into in whatever ways I can and they need me to. The Vineyard church is also going to be meeting at the 86 Club location so I will see if there is a place to minister alongside the Vineyard. I felt in the midst of the chaos that clouded much of the beginning of this year I wasn't sure I was going to stay in Cincinnati but it seems God has purpose for me here and I will continue doing whatever it takes to follow whatever God is leading me to do. Cincinnati is home for the now. God is good and this year has been a blessing even as crazy as it seemed.

Can You Help Get 86ministries Started?

Some of you may remember back in April I had sent out several emails regarding a new ministry and concert venue that I was quite excited about and excited to be part of called 86ministries. The last email I sent was regarding the purchase of the building. 86ministries has not entirely secured the purchase of the building yet. $10,000 was put down with an agreement to come up with another $40,000 by July 17th and in the meantime we would begin to prepare the building for our purposes. In the time since, we were able with the help of volunteers to clean out the entire building of trash and remove some walls that were water damaged. From the time we came in until now, the building has undergone a huge improvement but we had an urgent financial hurdle to overcome; the $50,000 down payment for the building was due by July 17th.  As of last week, we had secured $36,500 of the $50,000 required, leaving a balance of $13,500 to be raised.

 

Many of you joined us in prayer for this need to be met by July 17th.

 

Well, God answered our prayers...but not exactly how we expected.  Due to the sellers not having the land contract completed and submitted to us for legal counsel to review, an extension had to be filed so we now have a new due date of 7/26.  We thank God for miraculously providing us with more time to raise the balance due.

 

I know many of you are like me and don't have a lot of extra cash sitting around. First and foremost, we believe in the goodness of God and that God wouldn't give this vision and bless us with the means to get this far without following through to the end as long as we are also faithful to follow God's leading. Prayers are important and it would be awesome if you could join with us in prayer that God will provide as is promised in Scripture. Anything that anyone can give will help tremendously so if you are able to help us out in anyway, Please contact Chris Human at #513.368.6554 orchris@86ministries.com . If you happen to be or know any of the following that are local to Cincinnati please contact Chris as well.

Are you a business owner?

Are you friends with a business owner?

Do you regularly support a local business?

Would you consider providing us with the names of business owners that we might approach regarding advertising or sponsorship?  The 86 club is located just one block from University of Cincinnati's campus with 38,000 students who could be exposed to their brand.  Additionally, we would love to speak with anyone who sees the benefit in the mission of 86 Ministries.  86 Ministries is impacting community and culture through positive alternatives for students and young adults.  Together, with your help, we can make a difference.  Please contact Chris at #513.368.6554 orchris@86ministries.com .

 

Do you have 2 friends that you would forward this message to?

 

Thank you for your support and prayers, again I know that many of you receiving this from me don't have this kind of money sitting around but I appreciate you reading this and believe that in a week there will be rejoicing to be shared with all of you as we move forward!

Joel Swanson

86ministries Acquired Top Cats

We are THRILLED to be able to share with you that we have signed the contract for the building on Vine Street in Clifton! God has done miraculous things to bring us to this point...and it's only just begun!

THANK YOU to everyone who contributed so far to help make this possible. We couldn't have done it without you!

People are already asking us..."How can I help?". There are several ways that you can make a difference....
1. Tell people about 86 Ministries by fowarding this message, mentioning our website and spreading the word about what we're doing. Encourage people to sign up for our e-newsletter. You can easily forward this message by clicking the "forward email" link at the bottom of this message.
2. One IMMEDIATE NEED we have is for $1,100 by this Monday, 4/19, towards our deposit. Beyond Monday, there are additional funds to be raised to help cover inspections, closing costs, building renovations, etc. Tax-deductible dontations of any amount can be made online at:
https://secure.pledgeconnect.com/donation.aspx?86ministries
3. Another IMMEDIATE NEED is for a commercial building inspection and appraisal. If you know of anyone that might be interested and able to provide these services and have a heart to help our ministry, please contact us ASAP!
4. Once the inspections are complete, we will be having work days to clean and organize the building. There is a LOT of work to be done and we would love your help. Just shoot us an email (info@86ministries.com) if you would like to be a part of the clean-up process and we will keep you the loop.
5. Once the building is cleaned up, we will be holding an OPEN HOUSE for you and your friends to come in and check the place out!
6. We are working on setting up our Twitter account and Facebook Fan page. These will enable us to connect with even more people. Details coming soon.

We are so excited for the great things...GOD things...that lie ahead. Together, we will provide hope and acceptance for the rejected and neglected and we will impact Corryville with the love of Jesus.

God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond that which
we can think or imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
Future Home of 86 Ministries




Sincerely,

Chris & Monica Human, Founders
86 Ministries
chris@86ministries.com
monica@86ministries.com

Sign Up for the 86ministries Newsletter

If you'd like to find out more about what's going on with 86ministries you should go to http://86ministries.com and sign up for the e-newsletter where you'd receive regular updates. If you haven't already, please consider donating to the purchase of a building. It would mean so much!

Help 86ministries Through Online Donation!

Hello everyone,

Many people have asked about the possibility of being able to give to 86
Ministries online monthly. Our online giving is now up and running. With
this tool you can give a one time gift or set it up for a recurring gift to
come out of your account automatically at the interval of your choice
(weekly, biweekly, monthly, etc). 86 Ministries is an established 501c3
organization and these gifts are tax deductible.

The link is:
https://secure.pledgeconnect.com/86ministries

If you are not one of the ones who have asked, I apologize for the email.
However, it would be great if you would consider giving to 86 Ministries on
an ongoing basis. There are great things coming!!!

Please forward this to anyone you think might be interested.

Thank you,
Chris Human

Update from 86ministries.com

I received this email today so I wanted to send it along to whoever might be interested that didn't already get it. I apologize to those who already got the message and I am cluttering your email but this is important stuff as far as I am concerned and it needs to get to as many people as it can!

If you can help out the cause in anyway, go to http://86ministries.com.

Joel

Hey guys,


So many people have been asking for an update of what is going on with the opportunity with the building.


We are still pressing on towards the attempt to purchase the building. Approximately $7,000 came in donations over the last week.

Also, we have had many people express interest in giving to the ministry on a monthly basis. This is exactly what we will need if the purchase happens to make the ministry work long term. We should have the online giving portal up and running this week. We will email everyone when that happens.


We have 3 possible options for purchase of the property:

1. Getting a conventional mortgage loan from a bank to purchase the property. (most desirable, and most unlikelydue to the state of the lending market)

2. Getting a personal loan from an individual to purchase the property.

3. Getting a personal loan from an individual for the down payment, so that the owners will finance the purchase themselves.

3 things currently in the works, that could use prayer.


1. My brother as it turns out is friends with a CFO of a division of 5/3 bank. My brother spoke to him about what we are doing. He made some calls and the people he spoke with within 5/3 bank said they would like to help us. So, Thursday I had a meeting with a representative from 5/3 bank and he is now shopping our opportunity around inside of 5/3 to see if he can get support to give us a commercial mortgage loan. This is ideal by far of all situations if we could get a conventional mortgage loan from 5/3 bank up front. This is also by far unfortunately possibly the most unlikely of the 3 scenarios

2. We have contacted an individual of great means who has expressed interest in helping financially with our ministry in the past. He and his wife are praying and considering loaning us the full $225,000 for the purchase of the building.

3. A member of a band that used to play at The Underground spoke to his parents, and they are considering loaning us $25,000 to get us up to the amount needed to do a down payment with the owners of the property so that they will do the financing themselves.


While all of this is going on, there are 3 other groups interested in the property and trying to pull resources together tomake the purchase.


So, there is great opportunity for this to happen.

All of the above could use a great deal of prayer.

Peace,
Chris and Monica

URGENT and Important information about an Exciting Opportunity

Monica and I have an urgent and exciting opportunity to share with you. We would much rather share this information in person, but due to the time-sensitive nature, that was not an option.

Will you please take a couple minutes to read the attached letter?

If you have any questions, we would love to talk with or meet with you.

Feel free to post this, forward this and share this with friends or individuals you think might be interested.

We appreciate YOU!
Chris & Monica Human

The attached letter is on the homepage of the new website:

http://86ministries.com/

It would mean the world to a lot of people if you can help out!

Joel

The Last Hope & The Skies Revolt Need Help!

In regards to the show scheduled on Saturday January 23rd at Covenant:

For anyone that came out or thought about coming to this show last night I want to apologize that it wasn't as advertising. I received word while Set Sights Forward was getting ready to play from the guys on the road (The Last Hope and The Skies Revolt) that their vehicle had broken down in Lebanon, Indiana and they would not be able to make it. As of 11am they were still stranded in Lebanon, Indiana looking for help from someone that might be handy with diesel vehicles.

If you happen to be one of these handy folks and interested in helping out some good guys their myspaces are:

The Last Hope
http://myspace.com/thelasthope

The Skies Revolt
http://myspace.com/theskiesrevolt

I assume if they have access to post they are stuck then they have access to receive inquiries from anyone willing and able to help.

I hope to be able to book both bands in the near future but that will be determined once they get their transportation problems solved, return to their respective homes and regroup.

Invisible?

Tonight I had planned to have friends together to watch the Cornerstone 2009 video project I had put together. It seemed the one from last year was enjoyed by most and so I thought the same would be the case with this one. So far, it seems people have had busier lives or something so viewing as a group has not happened yet. I have watched it once to make sure it worked properly but no one else has gotten to see it so far...maybe no one else cares to see it.

I had planned the viewing event with a friend who seems quite excited about seeing it so a date was set based on coinciding schedules and the word was sent out to others in our common circle of friends in hopes a good number would come together to enjoy the time and watch the video. A few days ago, prior to the planned viewing, I found out that same friend would be out of town and at the time of viewing no one else showed up either. Some other folks were out of town and others were busy with other things while many just didn't come. Some had excuses and others did not.

This seems to be a common theme with the things I try to organize. I don't organize events to bring glory to myself but because I enjoy the company of my friends. I organize concerts because I love the music, I love the artists, and I want to spend time with my friends in that setting. So far, very few of my friends have bothered to attend the concerts I have organized. I understand this is probably somewhat due to my taste in music hitting certain extremes that others I know don't care for but many of the shows I have put together fell within the confines of a pretty general listening audience. So where are my friends on those nights? I suppose one reason some folks might not come out to the shows is due to our location being in a "scary" neighborhood (personally I find that to be a very lame excuse...no offense but that's how I feel). I guess people are busy living their lives. Shows on weeknights probably are hard for many of my friends. I don't expect as many to come out on weeknights but I have to do these shows based on the availability of the bands touring about half the shows I have organized were on weeknights. Many of my friends do say they are coming out to these events but never do. So where are my friends?

I go to a lot of events on my own because I enjoy them. I know at most events, I will at least know someone else there. I go to a lot of events friends of mine are responsible for organizing but so far this is not reciprocated by their attendance at mine. I don't write to whine and complain. I don't feel I am so important that people should drop what they are doing to pay attention to whatever it is I have my hands in. I write this because I am frustrated by the feeling that I mean very little to most folks around me most of the time unless they want my help or want people to come to something they are doing. I am always willing to help my friends and I want to support the things they are doing. I don't expect all my friends to be available at all times. That would be ridiculous. I just wish they would be available some of the time. So far, its been very, very rare. I suppose I could just stop involving myself in the events of my friends and keep myself busy with other things but I don't want to. I enjoy being a part of the group of people I have considered to me my friends. Maybe it's a one way road but nonetheless I consider them my friends. I enjoy supporting their endeavors or helping them when they need it so I won't stop being there for them. It's not that they aren't there for me but times like this makes it feel they aren't there often if ever. As I read this back I feel like I am coming off as selfish so I probably should just delete it but at the same time I want to do my best to be open and honest and maybe this is the place it will happen until I can be better at it in person.

These feelings I am sure will pass on as soon as the trials of life end up back in the normal state of less stress and frustration but right now I feel this way so I figured I would be honest and write it out so I won't delete it and I will continue until I can get it out of my system (warning this could get long if its not already).

I suppose many of those I call my friends are busy being husbands or wives or parents or students or working at whatever profession they have chosen. I guess when you are a single late 20s guy whose job hours end in the morning or early afternoon there is possibly a bit too much empty time for me to occasionally dwell on the loneliness my life can bring. Overall, I have enjoyed my solitude. I am amongst people when I choose to be and if I want to be alone I can be. It can serve me well I guess but I feel quite invisible to many people around me that I care about. There is a reoccurring feeling that it wouldn't matter much if I was here or not (not in the suicidal way). I could move to a new place amongst strangers and feel the same way I do at this moment amongst these friends. I don't necessarily think it's anything they are overtly doing or if they even realize how I feel. I'm not the type that openly expresses things like this often (though I am right now in this way because its all I can do...right now anyway).

I guess I am looking for a closeness I'm not currently experiencing but not sure how to express it properly. I want to have people to go out and enjoy an evening with when I'm not going to a show or putting on a show. I want people I can call or stop by and visit without feeling like I might be intruding on their private space or personal time. I miss the friends I had that were like that when I a late teenager/early 20s graduating high school, entering college, and in college. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet because I am doing a lot of the same things I did then. I enjoy the life I live, I guess it doesn't have the stability I would need to settle down into anything else than what I do but nonetheless, I enjoy this life. I have other friends who seem to be living in similar ways as I do, maybe I just need to make myself more available to them and they will do the same...

I seem have a closer relationship now with some people in my life where there is a long physical distance and that's a great things but at this particular moment and others in recent memory feel very distant to some of those near me. I guess the question is, am I pushing people away or not embracing the relationships that are there? Is it something I am doing that I don't realize? What can be done to change the current course to end these feelings? Is it even something that matters or will it go away when the stresses of this last week are resolved? (if I had the answer I wouldn't have typed this out in this cold church waiting with hopes someone might show up to watch the Cornerstone video).

On The Work of Rock Show Booking, Presenting, & Promoting.

Much of 2009 has found me working with various musical artists to host shows in Cincinnati, more specifically in Northside at Covenant. I have had to do a lot of it myself but I put myself in that situation so please don't think I am complaining.

So why would I put my time, money, and energy into something like this?

This week the reason came to show itself much as it did the first show. I have a vision to build community with the artists and the people who enjoy the live music experience and since the first show in January with Jonathan Hape (who has played with us three times already) I have been doing that. I knew Jonathan Hape when I lived in Mansfield. We met at CD Jungle where I wore my Tooth & Nail jacket and I may have gone in there to try to sell a DvD I no longer wanted but Jonathan and I had a great conversation about the old Tooth & Nail artists that made the label so unique when it began (only a few remain) and from there he informed me he'd be playing a show in Mount Vernon with Discover America. I caught his show and became a fan instantly and so from there I attended a number of his shows in the area over the few years I spent in Mansfield and caught one in Dayton a while back after I had moved to Cincinnati.

After moving to Cincinnati, I honestly wasn't entirely sure what I was really supposed to do but I knew I needed to leave Mansfield and the open door was open to Cincinnati and to Covenant Church with my friends the Brandyberry's. Once Covenant moved into our current location I saw a greater potential for outreach through live music due to the large room with a stage. We had a few concerts (actually most of them before I ended up being a part of Covenant) in the old storefront location but it seemed those were difficult because we had to get everything back in order for the Sunday Service and there just was not much room to maneuver. I am still working out the details of how this will all work in the long run (details like proper funding, keeping the sound equipment in good condition and acquiring all the pieces I need to improve the quality, etc) but I feel this is what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. It is a ministry of Covenant and its greater organization still unnamed (Covenant is the church, there is also an after school program, a youth program, and a gardening program that are all a part of the organization so we are trying to settle on a name and I think I will keep the "Covenant" name as part of the live music events and the Church will be called Covenant Church still as well). Because it is part of the ministry, there are certain standards of conduct and presentation I feel an obligation to adhere to that I am still trying to establish. I do not know what it means necessarily but what I have felt is that the artists who take our stage should refrain from being profane and vulgar and absolutely should not promote hate in their message through their music. I do not care necessarily if an artist is a Christian but I do not want their message to be contradictory to the ministry of Covenant Church. In recent weeks I have had bands contact me who do not have Christian affiliation to my knowledge so I figure that should I book a show with them at some point then I will make this known to them prior to confirming the show.

It is a lot of hard work to try to get the word out about these events. Working alone at this point I have a limited area where I can get flyers put out in the area. It also can be a bit overwhelming to try to work the door while running the sound. My hope is that soon a few friends will be willing to donate a few hours of their evenings now and then to help me out with things to help the show happen. Maybe in time we can add more things to make these events more enjoyable. In the meantime, if you want concessions please visit one of the nearby convenience shops for your soda or junk food needs.

When I first moved to Cincinnati, I had friends involved with the Underground venue. I also decided to volunteer my services for a short time (the reason for my leaving as well as many others is a long story I don't chose to get into here) at that venue. It was a little more work that I expected but I enjoyed most of the experience. The friends I came away with to add to the friends I had who were already there that I knew before my move are great and I enjoy the times I spent with them. A few of those friends have had a chance to attend a few of the shows I put on at Covenant.

In the last week, we had a couple of shows that were not well attended. Both were shows I would have put on even with the knowledge that there would not be much of a crowd because I enjoy the music that was played. The first show was Jonathan Hape's tour and his third appearance at Covenant. As stated before, Jonathan is a friend of mine and any time he asks us to play that we can have him I will do what I can to make it happen and hope that eventually he will begin to develop a Cincinnati fan base. This time he brought Sing For Company (Mansfield) and The La De Les (Michigan) on the tour and after the show they stayed at Covenant for the night. I tried to take that evening off of work and ended up working all through the day making me a bit stressed and I did not have as much time to get things ready before the show as I would have liked including a meal for the artists (though I ran home and found some fried chicken patties that may have fed a few of the folks). After the evening ended, we all went to Skyline Chili and had a great time of fellowship and conversation together. The next day we also had some fellowship and conversation while we set things back up in the hall for the week and loaded out the artists.

Friday, I had my first ever punk show. I love punk rawk music and I will do more punk shows as long as I can afford to make it happen and we have the space availability to do the show. The bands were The Last Hope, Revolution Radio, and Girlfight. There were only 6 or so that showed up and a local band had to drop off the show at the last minute so it wasn't the most ideal way for things to go but the show was a lot of fun. Afterwards, once again, I took the bands to Skyline Chili (Girlfight decided not to go) and had great fellowship and conversation.

If nothing else comes from hosting concerts, I am grateful for the opportunities to call these artists I have worked with so far and those I will be working with in the future my friends and to have fellowship with them. I really have enjoyed the times of going out after the show to share a meal and conversation with people from places that aren't here and get to know who they are as people, not just an entity on a stage performing. These conversations and fellowship are well worth the costs of putting on the shows and I hope that these friendships grow through future opportunities to share events together and who knows what else. This is why I do what I do.

Death: The Separation, Rest in Peace - Andy Sorensen

My Uncle Andy died a year ago today though he spent the last two weeks of his life in a coma after his heart stopped on March 9th, 2008.  His life was way too short but he certainly had a lifetime of adventures.  My family has suffered for the last year dealing with the loss but life has gone on without Andy and most recently my great-Aunt Peryl.

In regards to Andy, we spent the last year learning about Brugada's Syndrome and testing to determine if any of the rest of us might carry the gene.  My mother and my Uncle Dan both showed signs of Brugada Syndrome therefore my brother and I were tested along with my cousin Brynne and her children.  I did not show anything that looked like I have Brugada Syndrome so I apparently will not be affected by it.  My brother and cousin did not appear to have it either.  My mom and Uncle Dan were implanted with defibrillators  that should restart the heart should any unusual episodes occur that might cause the heart to stop unexpectedly.  My grandfather has had some heart issues that we have come to find and has had to visit with doctors and do different things to ensure his life does not end in this unexpected way that we lost Andy.

I guess those are the blessings we bring out of the loss of Andy but it sure would have been nice to not have had these important discoveries come with the sacrifice of a life.

One of my biggest regrets is that I never had a chance to visit with Andy up in Alaska.  I suppose I could visit my Aunt Rebecca and their boys Erik & Jacob in Alaska but I don't know when or if that will ever happen.  I always did want to go up there but its not like any of the trips I regularly go on where I can be there in a day or less.  I would more than likely need to fly there and arrange for a week or so off of work to spend there.  With all that I seem to have going on at any given moment it would be something that needs planned out but maybe I will get around to doing so eventually.

I wish I would have had a chance to physically see Andy one last time before he was gone.  I think the last time I had spent with Andy was in 2006 in the summer.  I was given an unexpected extra few days on my vacation that I took.  I first went to Warren before going to Cornerstone then I returned to Warren for the extra few days before coming back to Mansfield to start my new job.  In the summer of 2008 I planned for a week to be in Warren to spend time with Andy and his family.  I did spend time with his family but due to his passing on I did not spend time with Andy.  There were moments that it hit hard the truth of what death is during that time that I was in Warren and that might have made returning to Cincinnati for a few days before leaving for Cornerstone a bit more refreshing that it would have been otherwise but part of me really did not want to leave Warren and my family after that visit.

Death is something that we all eventually deal with, so why is it hard when it happens?  In my family, it is hard because it wasn't something we expected to happen in the case of the deaths this past year.  As a youngster, I lost my great-grandparents but that didn't affect me in the way the loss of Andy did and the loss of Peryl was different still.  The great-grandparents health was such that the end was obviously near for them and in some ways a blessing to know they no longer suffered in the failing physical bodies.  Peryl, though advanced in years, died rather unexpectedly and due to my physical distance from my homeland, I don't think it quite has felt real yet.  Her husband, my great-uncle Ken has had a very hard time dealing with her death.  He has lost someone that has been there with him for over 60 years; no doubt it isn't easy to live on after such a loss.  At this point, I have made a habit of visiting Warren two times a year though last year I made a special trip to be there for Andy's memorial service.  I did not attend my home church this past December when I visited Warren so I did not see my great-aunt Peryl.  The last time I saw her was when I came to Warren in June 2008 and probably the next time I visit Warren for enough time to attend my home church is when it will hit me that I will no longer see Peryl on this side of eternity.  That is what happened more or less in June with Andy for me because I did expect to see him then and he wasn't there.

Death is a separation that semi-permanent.  It is permanent in that us, the living, no longer can see, touch, or talk to the loved one no longer living.  I suppose we can talk to them but they cannot respond in the traditional sense.  It is hard because that connection we had before is no longer there and it feels as though a piece is now missing.  I know that is how it feels for me since Andy passed on.  I did not see him or talk to him that often but I always knew he was out there somewhere and always believed that soon enough we'd be hanging out again up until March 2008.  There were some moments in the aftermath were I felt a deep sadness and others where I wasn't too outwardly affected.  From the time he fell into the coma my mind was always on Andy.  I think about him more now that he is gone than I ever did while he was alive.  I think of his example of Christ to this world.  I think of how much I respect the person he was and I think about how loved he was by anyone that knew him as well as my family and I.  I think about how I hope to have the impact he has but feel that I could never leave such a great legacy if I happen to live longer than his short 48 years.  Now I think some of Peryl and her 82 years and the amazing legacy she leaves behind.  I think of the love she gave to anyone she met and how loved she was by all that knew her and by my family and I and again feel that I will never have such a great impact on this world that she has had but will do my best to try to be such an example of Christ as she.

After the loss of Andy, I decided to dedicate my art of video to his honor and then with the loss of Peryl decided to make my dedication a bit more general in honor of all in my family that has passed on and even to those still in this earthly life.

One thing about death as a believer and follower of Christ is the understanding this life is not all there is.  We believe death is not the end but a transitioning from one life into glory.  How does all that work out?  Since I am not dead I cannot say with certainty and since I have not been granted the vision into the otherside to my knowledge I do not believe I have an answer to this question.  I do not know if the moment we take our last breath of earthly air that we are transformed into glorious bodies and pass through the gates of heaven (there is a much less glorious alternative as well but I don't desire to get into that at this point) or if we have a time of spiritual slumber until the end of all time by our measurement on earth when, depending on your interpretation, the Lord will finish things one way or another and redeem the earth into a new earth with a new heaven and the dead will be resurrected and the faithful living and faithful dead will join together in an eternal paradise.  What I do have faith in with all the certainty that is humanly possible is that death is absolutely not the end and the separation is not permanent, eternally speaking.  With that belief I firmly expect to be with Andy and Peryl on the otherside in glory.

In this modern age, life is expected to last somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 years.  For Andy to have died at 48 took us completely by surprise.  No one knew there was any history of heart complications in the Sorensen family.  Andy was a man of good health.  He was very active, hunting, fishing, nature photography, something of a stay at home dad, etc.  He was out and about the day he had the cardiac episode brought on by Brugada Syndrome and there was nothing to indicate he'd not see the light of another day.  Even after he was brought back by the paramedics, there was a belief he should bounce back from this and be fine.  None of us wanted to believe this was the end.  It was a few days before the grim reality started to become clear that we'd no longer have the Andy Sorensen we knew all our lives.  It was brought to my attention he had suffered severe brain damage and I thought of the population of MRDD folks I work with and absolutely could not believe that would be the state of my Uncle not because there is anything that disgusts me about the folks I work with but I could not believe my Uncle would not longer be free to do anything as he had always been.  Due to my history of working with these folks I wondered if I'd maybe have to assist my Uncle with his living?  It was a thought that crossed my mind more than once should he come out of the coma and have such damage as seemed to be the indication from the medical experts.  He had gone far too long without oxygen that all higher functioning of his brain had been damaged.  It wasn't long that we began to realize that he was not going to pull through and he was being kept alive by machines.  When the plug was pulled I understand he did not survive very long afterwards which I personally felt was a sign that he was meant to pass on after all this.  There was very little struggle to cling to life as I understand it.  I wondered what would we do had he tried to hold on after the plug had been pulled?

The decision to pull the plug was thankfully not in my hands.  I am not sure that I would want to make that decision.  For myself, should I ever come to have an incident that leaves me in a state where I am kept alive by machines, I want the plug pulled, though if my body is not ready to go and fights valiantly to cling to life you may want to consider hooking me back up to see what happens.  The decision to pull the plug I am sure was a difficult one for my aunt Rebecca to make and I understand she wished for agreement from both my uncle Steve and Grandpa who were there at the bedside.  I am grateful once the decision was made that Andy passed quickly so there was little if any second guessing that the right decision was made.  Of course it wasn't any easier just because he passed rather quickly. No one wants to lose someone they love, no matter the situation and no one wants to hold the fate of another life in their hands...not like this.

Even with our modern advances that have helped humans to have longer lives and to the belief of some, a better quality of living, unexpected death does come along as has been the case in the last year for my family.  Sometimes it is due to poor personal choices to indulge in drug use or alcohol or promiscuous sex and sometimes other peoples poor decisions bring the unexpected end to another life.  In my current cultural setting, it seems to come to many.  In the urban setting I have heard it said amongst the children in the community surrounding Covenant (the Church I am part of) is they fear growing older due to the fact they are exposed to many teenagers who die much too young due to violence.  It would be nice to believe that our civilization has advanced beyond the violent ways of the past but it has not.  Countries go to war over things that could be dealt with if there was such a thing as diplomacy.  People groups decide to kill others for their lands or the things they own.  Some kill over skin colors or heritage or class.  These things should not be.  These differences should not warrant violence or death.  Children should not be afraid to advance beyond their teenage years.  One watches a movie like Gangs of New York and says something about what a savage time that much have been 150 years ago or so but how much different are times now?  I'd say they aren't much different when you really look at it.  Groups continue to fight over territories that have no eternal value but sometimes it looks a bit more civilized to those who aren't in the midst of it (and even sometimes to those in the midst of it). They fight over differences and grudges of an offense that will not matter in the grand scheme of life (a sidenote:  I hope to settle and make peace with anyone who I ever offended because of the fact we are never guaranteed another day.  I have been doing my part to right  the wrongs I have committed against those my path has crossed but if there is anyone out there I have not yet apologized to and reached out in peaceful reconciliation please contact me and we can settle the differences in love and forgive each other our trespasses).  Everyday families suffer unexpected loss but unlike my family they suffer because of these things that should never have taken the lives of the loved ones.

My family suffers because of a genetic defect that took our loved one unexpectedly.  It could have been prevented had we known about it but we did not.  Could Andy have been saved?  Yes, but there is a number of variables that would have had to have been switched and then we might have Andy with us today but there is no way of fixing the past.  You just have to try to take the best out of the life you are given and try to learn from the things that aren't so great.  As hard as it has been, I believe my family and I have been doing this over this past year and by the grace of God we will continue to do so the rest of our days however long or short they might be.  Yes, it remains hard.  The one year anniversary brings about the memories of our loss but we have to continue to live our lives in honor of our beloved Andy.

As I grow older I expect to become more and more familiar with death, after all, as we live each day we each move closer to our respective end.  As true as that might be, it really is not something I am ready to embrace as a norm in my life.  I  suppose time will tell how it will affect me as it occurs again and again around me and i expect it will bring about sadness each time but I hope to also be able to rejoice in the fullness of each life lived and not just celebrate the life lived but the hopeful passing into a glorious eternity as well.  I hope that all my loved ones will have a committed faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and are faithful followers/believers.  Those around me grow older and that is evident by the health complications that become more noticeable in some as they advance through the years.  I hope that the deaths that will plague the loved ones in my life will be peaceful passings but I hope that they are not unexpected deaths as have happened this past year but if they have to be I hope each loved one is blessed with a long fulfilled existence.

Andy Sorensen has been on the otherside for a year now and still he is deeply missed by my family and I.  We love him and eagerly anticipate being with him again one day.  Until then, Andy, rest peacefully in the love of your family and your Father.

Andy Sorensen Memorial Film Playlist

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B1EDD4C605EC9E52

Peryl Sorensen Memorial Film

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3wK88Vmkls