In regards to the show scheduled on Saturday January 23rd at Covenant:
For anyone that came out or thought about coming to this show last night I want to apologize that it wasn't as advertising. I received word while Set Sights Forward was getting ready to play from the guys on the road (The Last Hope and The Skies Revolt) that their vehicle had broken down in Lebanon, Indiana and they would not be able to make it. As of 11am they were still stranded in Lebanon, Indiana looking for help from someone that might be handy with diesel vehicles.
If you happen to be one of these handy folks and interested in helping out some good guys their myspaces are:
The Last Hope
http://myspace.com/thelasthope
The Skies Revolt
http://myspace.com/theskiesrevolt
I assume if they have access to post they are stuck then they have access to receive inquiries from anyone willing and able to help.
I hope to be able to book both bands in the near future but that will be determined once they get their transportation problems solved, return to their respective homes and regroup.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Invisible?
Tonight I had planned to have friends together to watch the Cornerstone 2009 video project I had put together. It seemed the one from last year was enjoyed by most and so I thought the same would be the case with this one. So far, it seems people have had busier lives or something so viewing as a group has not happened yet. I have watched it once to make sure it worked properly but no one else has gotten to see it so far...maybe no one else cares to see it.
I had planned the viewing event with a friend who seems quite excited about seeing it so a date was set based on coinciding schedules and the word was sent out to others in our common circle of friends in hopes a good number would come together to enjoy the time and watch the video. A few days ago, prior to the planned viewing, I found out that same friend would be out of town and at the time of viewing no one else showed up either. Some other folks were out of town and others were busy with other things while many just didn't come. Some had excuses and others did not.
This seems to be a common theme with the things I try to organize. I don't organize events to bring glory to myself but because I enjoy the company of my friends. I organize concerts because I love the music, I love the artists, and I want to spend time with my friends in that setting. So far, very few of my friends have bothered to attend the concerts I have organized. I understand this is probably somewhat due to my taste in music hitting certain extremes that others I know don't care for but many of the shows I have put together fell within the confines of a pretty general listening audience. So where are my friends on those nights? I suppose one reason some folks might not come out to the shows is due to our location being in a "scary" neighborhood (personally I find that to be a very lame excuse...no offense but that's how I feel). I guess people are busy living their lives. Shows on weeknights probably are hard for many of my friends. I don't expect as many to come out on weeknights but I have to do these shows based on the availability of the bands touring about half the shows I have organized were on weeknights. Many of my friends do say they are coming out to these events but never do. So where are my friends?
I go to a lot of events on my own because I enjoy them. I know at most events, I will at least know someone else there. I go to a lot of events friends of mine are responsible for organizing but so far this is not reciprocated by their attendance at mine. I don't write to whine and complain. I don't feel I am so important that people should drop what they are doing to pay attention to whatever it is I have my hands in. I write this because I am frustrated by the feeling that I mean very little to most folks around me most of the time unless they want my help or want people to come to something they are doing. I am always willing to help my friends and I want to support the things they are doing. I don't expect all my friends to be available at all times. That would be ridiculous. I just wish they would be available some of the time. So far, its been very, very rare. I suppose I could just stop involving myself in the events of my friends and keep myself busy with other things but I don't want to. I enjoy being a part of the group of people I have considered to me my friends. Maybe it's a one way road but nonetheless I consider them my friends. I enjoy supporting their endeavors or helping them when they need it so I won't stop being there for them. It's not that they aren't there for me but times like this makes it feel they aren't there often if ever. As I read this back I feel like I am coming off as selfish so I probably should just delete it but at the same time I want to do my best to be open and honest and maybe this is the place it will happen until I can be better at it in person.
These feelings I am sure will pass on as soon as the trials of life end up back in the normal state of less stress and frustration but right now I feel this way so I figured I would be honest and write it out so I won't delete it and I will continue until I can get it out of my system (warning this could get long if its not already).
I suppose many of those I call my friends are busy being husbands or wives or parents or students or working at whatever profession they have chosen. I guess when you are a single late 20s guy whose job hours end in the morning or early afternoon there is possibly a bit too much empty time for me to occasionally dwell on the loneliness my life can bring. Overall, I have enjoyed my solitude. I am amongst people when I choose to be and if I want to be alone I can be. It can serve me well I guess but I feel quite invisible to many people around me that I care about. There is a reoccurring feeling that it wouldn't matter much if I was here or not (not in the suicidal way). I could move to a new place amongst strangers and feel the same way I do at this moment amongst these friends. I don't necessarily think it's anything they are overtly doing or if they even realize how I feel. I'm not the type that openly expresses things like this often (though I am right now in this way because its all I can do...right now anyway).
I guess I am looking for a closeness I'm not currently experiencing but not sure how to express it properly. I want to have people to go out and enjoy an evening with when I'm not going to a show or putting on a show. I want people I can call or stop by and visit without feeling like I might be intruding on their private space or personal time. I miss the friends I had that were like that when I a late teenager/early 20s graduating high school, entering college, and in college. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet because I am doing a lot of the same things I did then. I enjoy the life I live, I guess it doesn't have the stability I would need to settle down into anything else than what I do but nonetheless, I enjoy this life. I have other friends who seem to be living in similar ways as I do, maybe I just need to make myself more available to them and they will do the same...
I seem have a closer relationship now with some people in my life where there is a long physical distance and that's a great things but at this particular moment and others in recent memory feel very distant to some of those near me. I guess the question is, am I pushing people away or not embracing the relationships that are there? Is it something I am doing that I don't realize? What can be done to change the current course to end these feelings? Is it even something that matters or will it go away when the stresses of this last week are resolved? (if I had the answer I wouldn't have typed this out in this cold church waiting with hopes someone might show up to watch the Cornerstone video).
I had planned the viewing event with a friend who seems quite excited about seeing it so a date was set based on coinciding schedules and the word was sent out to others in our common circle of friends in hopes a good number would come together to enjoy the time and watch the video. A few days ago, prior to the planned viewing, I found out that same friend would be out of town and at the time of viewing no one else showed up either. Some other folks were out of town and others were busy with other things while many just didn't come. Some had excuses and others did not.
This seems to be a common theme with the things I try to organize. I don't organize events to bring glory to myself but because I enjoy the company of my friends. I organize concerts because I love the music, I love the artists, and I want to spend time with my friends in that setting. So far, very few of my friends have bothered to attend the concerts I have organized. I understand this is probably somewhat due to my taste in music hitting certain extremes that others I know don't care for but many of the shows I have put together fell within the confines of a pretty general listening audience. So where are my friends on those nights? I suppose one reason some folks might not come out to the shows is due to our location being in a "scary" neighborhood (personally I find that to be a very lame excuse...no offense but that's how I feel). I guess people are busy living their lives. Shows on weeknights probably are hard for many of my friends. I don't expect as many to come out on weeknights but I have to do these shows based on the availability of the bands touring about half the shows I have organized were on weeknights. Many of my friends do say they are coming out to these events but never do. So where are my friends?
I go to a lot of events on my own because I enjoy them. I know at most events, I will at least know someone else there. I go to a lot of events friends of mine are responsible for organizing but so far this is not reciprocated by their attendance at mine. I don't write to whine and complain. I don't feel I am so important that people should drop what they are doing to pay attention to whatever it is I have my hands in. I write this because I am frustrated by the feeling that I mean very little to most folks around me most of the time unless they want my help or want people to come to something they are doing. I am always willing to help my friends and I want to support the things they are doing. I don't expect all my friends to be available at all times. That would be ridiculous. I just wish they would be available some of the time. So far, its been very, very rare. I suppose I could just stop involving myself in the events of my friends and keep myself busy with other things but I don't want to. I enjoy being a part of the group of people I have considered to me my friends. Maybe it's a one way road but nonetheless I consider them my friends. I enjoy supporting their endeavors or helping them when they need it so I won't stop being there for them. It's not that they aren't there for me but times like this makes it feel they aren't there often if ever. As I read this back I feel like I am coming off as selfish so I probably should just delete it but at the same time I want to do my best to be open and honest and maybe this is the place it will happen until I can be better at it in person.
These feelings I am sure will pass on as soon as the trials of life end up back in the normal state of less stress and frustration but right now I feel this way so I figured I would be honest and write it out so I won't delete it and I will continue until I can get it out of my system (warning this could get long if its not already).
I suppose many of those I call my friends are busy being husbands or wives or parents or students or working at whatever profession they have chosen. I guess when you are a single late 20s guy whose job hours end in the morning or early afternoon there is possibly a bit too much empty time for me to occasionally dwell on the loneliness my life can bring. Overall, I have enjoyed my solitude. I am amongst people when I choose to be and if I want to be alone I can be. It can serve me well I guess but I feel quite invisible to many people around me that I care about. There is a reoccurring feeling that it wouldn't matter much if I was here or not (not in the suicidal way). I could move to a new place amongst strangers and feel the same way I do at this moment amongst these friends. I don't necessarily think it's anything they are overtly doing or if they even realize how I feel. I'm not the type that openly expresses things like this often (though I am right now in this way because its all I can do...right now anyway).
I guess I am looking for a closeness I'm not currently experiencing but not sure how to express it properly. I want to have people to go out and enjoy an evening with when I'm not going to a show or putting on a show. I want people I can call or stop by and visit without feeling like I might be intruding on their private space or personal time. I miss the friends I had that were like that when I a late teenager/early 20s graduating high school, entering college, and in college. Maybe I just haven't grown up yet because I am doing a lot of the same things I did then. I enjoy the life I live, I guess it doesn't have the stability I would need to settle down into anything else than what I do but nonetheless, I enjoy this life. I have other friends who seem to be living in similar ways as I do, maybe I just need to make myself more available to them and they will do the same...
I seem have a closer relationship now with some people in my life where there is a long physical distance and that's a great things but at this particular moment and others in recent memory feel very distant to some of those near me. I guess the question is, am I pushing people away or not embracing the relationships that are there? Is it something I am doing that I don't realize? What can be done to change the current course to end these feelings? Is it even something that matters or will it go away when the stresses of this last week are resolved? (if I had the answer I wouldn't have typed this out in this cold church waiting with hopes someone might show up to watch the Cornerstone video).
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