On The Work of Rock Show Booking, Presenting, & Promoting.

Much of 2009 has found me working with various musical artists to host shows in Cincinnati, more specifically in Northside at Covenant. I have had to do a lot of it myself but I put myself in that situation so please don't think I am complaining.

So why would I put my time, money, and energy into something like this?

This week the reason came to show itself much as it did the first show. I have a vision to build community with the artists and the people who enjoy the live music experience and since the first show in January with Jonathan Hape (who has played with us three times already) I have been doing that. I knew Jonathan Hape when I lived in Mansfield. We met at CD Jungle where I wore my Tooth & Nail jacket and I may have gone in there to try to sell a DvD I no longer wanted but Jonathan and I had a great conversation about the old Tooth & Nail artists that made the label so unique when it began (only a few remain) and from there he informed me he'd be playing a show in Mount Vernon with Discover America. I caught his show and became a fan instantly and so from there I attended a number of his shows in the area over the few years I spent in Mansfield and caught one in Dayton a while back after I had moved to Cincinnati.

After moving to Cincinnati, I honestly wasn't entirely sure what I was really supposed to do but I knew I needed to leave Mansfield and the open door was open to Cincinnati and to Covenant Church with my friends the Brandyberry's. Once Covenant moved into our current location I saw a greater potential for outreach through live music due to the large room with a stage. We had a few concerts (actually most of them before I ended up being a part of Covenant) in the old storefront location but it seemed those were difficult because we had to get everything back in order for the Sunday Service and there just was not much room to maneuver. I am still working out the details of how this will all work in the long run (details like proper funding, keeping the sound equipment in good condition and acquiring all the pieces I need to improve the quality, etc) but I feel this is what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. It is a ministry of Covenant and its greater organization still unnamed (Covenant is the church, there is also an after school program, a youth program, and a gardening program that are all a part of the organization so we are trying to settle on a name and I think I will keep the "Covenant" name as part of the live music events and the Church will be called Covenant Church still as well). Because it is part of the ministry, there are certain standards of conduct and presentation I feel an obligation to adhere to that I am still trying to establish. I do not know what it means necessarily but what I have felt is that the artists who take our stage should refrain from being profane and vulgar and absolutely should not promote hate in their message through their music. I do not care necessarily if an artist is a Christian but I do not want their message to be contradictory to the ministry of Covenant Church. In recent weeks I have had bands contact me who do not have Christian affiliation to my knowledge so I figure that should I book a show with them at some point then I will make this known to them prior to confirming the show.

It is a lot of hard work to try to get the word out about these events. Working alone at this point I have a limited area where I can get flyers put out in the area. It also can be a bit overwhelming to try to work the door while running the sound. My hope is that soon a few friends will be willing to donate a few hours of their evenings now and then to help me out with things to help the show happen. Maybe in time we can add more things to make these events more enjoyable. In the meantime, if you want concessions please visit one of the nearby convenience shops for your soda or junk food needs.

When I first moved to Cincinnati, I had friends involved with the Underground venue. I also decided to volunteer my services for a short time (the reason for my leaving as well as many others is a long story I don't chose to get into here) at that venue. It was a little more work that I expected but I enjoyed most of the experience. The friends I came away with to add to the friends I had who were already there that I knew before my move are great and I enjoy the times I spent with them. A few of those friends have had a chance to attend a few of the shows I put on at Covenant.

In the last week, we had a couple of shows that were not well attended. Both were shows I would have put on even with the knowledge that there would not be much of a crowd because I enjoy the music that was played. The first show was Jonathan Hape's tour and his third appearance at Covenant. As stated before, Jonathan is a friend of mine and any time he asks us to play that we can have him I will do what I can to make it happen and hope that eventually he will begin to develop a Cincinnati fan base. This time he brought Sing For Company (Mansfield) and The La De Les (Michigan) on the tour and after the show they stayed at Covenant for the night. I tried to take that evening off of work and ended up working all through the day making me a bit stressed and I did not have as much time to get things ready before the show as I would have liked including a meal for the artists (though I ran home and found some fried chicken patties that may have fed a few of the folks). After the evening ended, we all went to Skyline Chili and had a great time of fellowship and conversation together. The next day we also had some fellowship and conversation while we set things back up in the hall for the week and loaded out the artists.

Friday, I had my first ever punk show. I love punk rawk music and I will do more punk shows as long as I can afford to make it happen and we have the space availability to do the show. The bands were The Last Hope, Revolution Radio, and Girlfight. There were only 6 or so that showed up and a local band had to drop off the show at the last minute so it wasn't the most ideal way for things to go but the show was a lot of fun. Afterwards, once again, I took the bands to Skyline Chili (Girlfight decided not to go) and had great fellowship and conversation.

If nothing else comes from hosting concerts, I am grateful for the opportunities to call these artists I have worked with so far and those I will be working with in the future my friends and to have fellowship with them. I really have enjoyed the times of going out after the show to share a meal and conversation with people from places that aren't here and get to know who they are as people, not just an entity on a stage performing. These conversations and fellowship are well worth the costs of putting on the shows and I hope that these friendships grow through future opportunities to share events together and who knows what else. This is why I do what I do.

Death: The Separation, Rest in Peace - Andy Sorensen

My Uncle Andy died a year ago today though he spent the last two weeks of his life in a coma after his heart stopped on March 9th, 2008.  His life was way too short but he certainly had a lifetime of adventures.  My family has suffered for the last year dealing with the loss but life has gone on without Andy and most recently my great-Aunt Peryl.

In regards to Andy, we spent the last year learning about Brugada's Syndrome and testing to determine if any of the rest of us might carry the gene.  My mother and my Uncle Dan both showed signs of Brugada Syndrome therefore my brother and I were tested along with my cousin Brynne and her children.  I did not show anything that looked like I have Brugada Syndrome so I apparently will not be affected by it.  My brother and cousin did not appear to have it either.  My mom and Uncle Dan were implanted with defibrillators  that should restart the heart should any unusual episodes occur that might cause the heart to stop unexpectedly.  My grandfather has had some heart issues that we have come to find and has had to visit with doctors and do different things to ensure his life does not end in this unexpected way that we lost Andy.

I guess those are the blessings we bring out of the loss of Andy but it sure would have been nice to not have had these important discoveries come with the sacrifice of a life.

One of my biggest regrets is that I never had a chance to visit with Andy up in Alaska.  I suppose I could visit my Aunt Rebecca and their boys Erik & Jacob in Alaska but I don't know when or if that will ever happen.  I always did want to go up there but its not like any of the trips I regularly go on where I can be there in a day or less.  I would more than likely need to fly there and arrange for a week or so off of work to spend there.  With all that I seem to have going on at any given moment it would be something that needs planned out but maybe I will get around to doing so eventually.

I wish I would have had a chance to physically see Andy one last time before he was gone.  I think the last time I had spent with Andy was in 2006 in the summer.  I was given an unexpected extra few days on my vacation that I took.  I first went to Warren before going to Cornerstone then I returned to Warren for the extra few days before coming back to Mansfield to start my new job.  In the summer of 2008 I planned for a week to be in Warren to spend time with Andy and his family.  I did spend time with his family but due to his passing on I did not spend time with Andy.  There were moments that it hit hard the truth of what death is during that time that I was in Warren and that might have made returning to Cincinnati for a few days before leaving for Cornerstone a bit more refreshing that it would have been otherwise but part of me really did not want to leave Warren and my family after that visit.

Death is something that we all eventually deal with, so why is it hard when it happens?  In my family, it is hard because it wasn't something we expected to happen in the case of the deaths this past year.  As a youngster, I lost my great-grandparents but that didn't affect me in the way the loss of Andy did and the loss of Peryl was different still.  The great-grandparents health was such that the end was obviously near for them and in some ways a blessing to know they no longer suffered in the failing physical bodies.  Peryl, though advanced in years, died rather unexpectedly and due to my physical distance from my homeland, I don't think it quite has felt real yet.  Her husband, my great-uncle Ken has had a very hard time dealing with her death.  He has lost someone that has been there with him for over 60 years; no doubt it isn't easy to live on after such a loss.  At this point, I have made a habit of visiting Warren two times a year though last year I made a special trip to be there for Andy's memorial service.  I did not attend my home church this past December when I visited Warren so I did not see my great-aunt Peryl.  The last time I saw her was when I came to Warren in June 2008 and probably the next time I visit Warren for enough time to attend my home church is when it will hit me that I will no longer see Peryl on this side of eternity.  That is what happened more or less in June with Andy for me because I did expect to see him then and he wasn't there.

Death is a separation that semi-permanent.  It is permanent in that us, the living, no longer can see, touch, or talk to the loved one no longer living.  I suppose we can talk to them but they cannot respond in the traditional sense.  It is hard because that connection we had before is no longer there and it feels as though a piece is now missing.  I know that is how it feels for me since Andy passed on.  I did not see him or talk to him that often but I always knew he was out there somewhere and always believed that soon enough we'd be hanging out again up until March 2008.  There were some moments in the aftermath were I felt a deep sadness and others where I wasn't too outwardly affected.  From the time he fell into the coma my mind was always on Andy.  I think about him more now that he is gone than I ever did while he was alive.  I think of his example of Christ to this world.  I think of how much I respect the person he was and I think about how loved he was by anyone that knew him as well as my family and I.  I think about how I hope to have the impact he has but feel that I could never leave such a great legacy if I happen to live longer than his short 48 years.  Now I think some of Peryl and her 82 years and the amazing legacy she leaves behind.  I think of the love she gave to anyone she met and how loved she was by all that knew her and by my family and I and again feel that I will never have such a great impact on this world that she has had but will do my best to try to be such an example of Christ as she.

After the loss of Andy, I decided to dedicate my art of video to his honor and then with the loss of Peryl decided to make my dedication a bit more general in honor of all in my family that has passed on and even to those still in this earthly life.

One thing about death as a believer and follower of Christ is the understanding this life is not all there is.  We believe death is not the end but a transitioning from one life into glory.  How does all that work out?  Since I am not dead I cannot say with certainty and since I have not been granted the vision into the otherside to my knowledge I do not believe I have an answer to this question.  I do not know if the moment we take our last breath of earthly air that we are transformed into glorious bodies and pass through the gates of heaven (there is a much less glorious alternative as well but I don't desire to get into that at this point) or if we have a time of spiritual slumber until the end of all time by our measurement on earth when, depending on your interpretation, the Lord will finish things one way or another and redeem the earth into a new earth with a new heaven and the dead will be resurrected and the faithful living and faithful dead will join together in an eternal paradise.  What I do have faith in with all the certainty that is humanly possible is that death is absolutely not the end and the separation is not permanent, eternally speaking.  With that belief I firmly expect to be with Andy and Peryl on the otherside in glory.

In this modern age, life is expected to last somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 years.  For Andy to have died at 48 took us completely by surprise.  No one knew there was any history of heart complications in the Sorensen family.  Andy was a man of good health.  He was very active, hunting, fishing, nature photography, something of a stay at home dad, etc.  He was out and about the day he had the cardiac episode brought on by Brugada Syndrome and there was nothing to indicate he'd not see the light of another day.  Even after he was brought back by the paramedics, there was a belief he should bounce back from this and be fine.  None of us wanted to believe this was the end.  It was a few days before the grim reality started to become clear that we'd no longer have the Andy Sorensen we knew all our lives.  It was brought to my attention he had suffered severe brain damage and I thought of the population of MRDD folks I work with and absolutely could not believe that would be the state of my Uncle not because there is anything that disgusts me about the folks I work with but I could not believe my Uncle would not longer be free to do anything as he had always been.  Due to my history of working with these folks I wondered if I'd maybe have to assist my Uncle with his living?  It was a thought that crossed my mind more than once should he come out of the coma and have such damage as seemed to be the indication from the medical experts.  He had gone far too long without oxygen that all higher functioning of his brain had been damaged.  It wasn't long that we began to realize that he was not going to pull through and he was being kept alive by machines.  When the plug was pulled I understand he did not survive very long afterwards which I personally felt was a sign that he was meant to pass on after all this.  There was very little struggle to cling to life as I understand it.  I wondered what would we do had he tried to hold on after the plug had been pulled?

The decision to pull the plug was thankfully not in my hands.  I am not sure that I would want to make that decision.  For myself, should I ever come to have an incident that leaves me in a state where I am kept alive by machines, I want the plug pulled, though if my body is not ready to go and fights valiantly to cling to life you may want to consider hooking me back up to see what happens.  The decision to pull the plug I am sure was a difficult one for my aunt Rebecca to make and I understand she wished for agreement from both my uncle Steve and Grandpa who were there at the bedside.  I am grateful once the decision was made that Andy passed quickly so there was little if any second guessing that the right decision was made.  Of course it wasn't any easier just because he passed rather quickly. No one wants to lose someone they love, no matter the situation and no one wants to hold the fate of another life in their hands...not like this.

Even with our modern advances that have helped humans to have longer lives and to the belief of some, a better quality of living, unexpected death does come along as has been the case in the last year for my family.  Sometimes it is due to poor personal choices to indulge in drug use or alcohol or promiscuous sex and sometimes other peoples poor decisions bring the unexpected end to another life.  In my current cultural setting, it seems to come to many.  In the urban setting I have heard it said amongst the children in the community surrounding Covenant (the Church I am part of) is they fear growing older due to the fact they are exposed to many teenagers who die much too young due to violence.  It would be nice to believe that our civilization has advanced beyond the violent ways of the past but it has not.  Countries go to war over things that could be dealt with if there was such a thing as diplomacy.  People groups decide to kill others for their lands or the things they own.  Some kill over skin colors or heritage or class.  These things should not be.  These differences should not warrant violence or death.  Children should not be afraid to advance beyond their teenage years.  One watches a movie like Gangs of New York and says something about what a savage time that much have been 150 years ago or so but how much different are times now?  I'd say they aren't much different when you really look at it.  Groups continue to fight over territories that have no eternal value but sometimes it looks a bit more civilized to those who aren't in the midst of it (and even sometimes to those in the midst of it). They fight over differences and grudges of an offense that will not matter in the grand scheme of life (a sidenote:  I hope to settle and make peace with anyone who I ever offended because of the fact we are never guaranteed another day.  I have been doing my part to right  the wrongs I have committed against those my path has crossed but if there is anyone out there I have not yet apologized to and reached out in peaceful reconciliation please contact me and we can settle the differences in love and forgive each other our trespasses).  Everyday families suffer unexpected loss but unlike my family they suffer because of these things that should never have taken the lives of the loved ones.

My family suffers because of a genetic defect that took our loved one unexpectedly.  It could have been prevented had we known about it but we did not.  Could Andy have been saved?  Yes, but there is a number of variables that would have had to have been switched and then we might have Andy with us today but there is no way of fixing the past.  You just have to try to take the best out of the life you are given and try to learn from the things that aren't so great.  As hard as it has been, I believe my family and I have been doing this over this past year and by the grace of God we will continue to do so the rest of our days however long or short they might be.  Yes, it remains hard.  The one year anniversary brings about the memories of our loss but we have to continue to live our lives in honor of our beloved Andy.

As I grow older I expect to become more and more familiar with death, after all, as we live each day we each move closer to our respective end.  As true as that might be, it really is not something I am ready to embrace as a norm in my life.  I  suppose time will tell how it will affect me as it occurs again and again around me and i expect it will bring about sadness each time but I hope to also be able to rejoice in the fullness of each life lived and not just celebrate the life lived but the hopeful passing into a glorious eternity as well.  I hope that all my loved ones will have a committed faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and are faithful followers/believers.  Those around me grow older and that is evident by the health complications that become more noticeable in some as they advance through the years.  I hope that the deaths that will plague the loved ones in my life will be peaceful passings but I hope that they are not unexpected deaths as have happened this past year but if they have to be I hope each loved one is blessed with a long fulfilled existence.

Andy Sorensen has been on the otherside for a year now and still he is deeply missed by my family and I.  We love him and eagerly anticipate being with him again one day.  Until then, Andy, rest peacefully in the love of your family and your Father.

Andy Sorensen Memorial Film Playlist

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B1EDD4C605EC9E52

Peryl Sorensen Memorial Film

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3wK88Vmkls

VIDEO: Answering Questions About Faith & Life (Parts 1-3)

This is a series of films where I answered some questions about my faith & life and how they mesh.

Part I:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkUY2peGOLw

Part II

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcfH0RXmaPA

Part III

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6UjZV-monE

RIP Peryl Mae Sorensen

This is a film where I tlk about the life & death of Peryl Sorensen, my great aunt.  I used a song and some pictures from a video that my cousin Taylor put together in her honor:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3wK88Vmkls

Go here to see Taylor's much better video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FpaittsHMo

Tonight Was The Vote That Could Adversely Affect Covenant's Ministry

This is from the weekly prayer updates that Pastor Abe sends out by email:

Sorry for the delay in updating about last's weeks zoning board meeting. For those that did not know, the City of Cincinnati is trying to change the zoneing laws in the city that would result in making it difficult or impossible for some churches in the city limits to provide social services. They are wanting to take out of the definition "Religious Assembly" the ability to house offices and programs of social services provided by churches. In this plan a church that wants to provide social services would first have to be within this small section of the city. Second, they would have to go have the city approve any program they would do. This is not just for churches, but any social service agency. 

I believe that is infringing on our ability to practice our "religious beliefs" since Jesus told his disciples to love those that are poor or on the fringes of society. The meeting last night was a wonderful sight of the church being unified and standing up for the poor. There were about 200 or more people that showed up in opposition to the changes that this board wants to put into policy. They did not vote, but they are voting tonight and we need to pray that it fails in the zoning board and doesn't got to City Council. If it passes tonight, then the City Council will have to vote for it to go into law. The Church needs to pray. This is just one example of many that we see the work of Christ being challenged by the world. This issue is minor and no matter what happens, the church is not a building or a program and we will continue to love our neighbors and make disciples. I believe that we are going to see a day in the American Church where we will face a lot more persecution, and the Church will need to be united, and in love with our Savior, unwilling to give up the work for His Kingdom!

In Christ,

Abe

I Am Romantically Awkward & Here Are Examples In My Life So Far To Prove It

Another Valentines alone...but things could be worse.  I spent the evening last night at a show with a few friends, which was pretty cool.  This was in the same venue I watched a show last Valentine's Day but I think this time around was a bit more enjoyable...smaller crowd and more laid back.

I think I had a significant other on one Valentine's Day.  I am pretty sure I was trying to watch a hockey game and she wanted to make out and cuddle.  I did my best to appear I was playing attention to her while I watched the game on the TV behind her.  The entirety of the relationship was pretty much cuddling and making out. This relationship ended in failure, as have all my romantic endeavors.

Will I ever get it right?

Growing up I remember the elementary school crush.  Her name was Natalie and I haven't seen or heard from her since fifth or sixth grade.  As I recall, an elementary school relationship consisted of a declaration of one liking another and then at recess we'd chase each other around the playground (or in my case the parking lot as our playground was little more than a swing set and teeter totter).  I recall at some point she revealed she also liked me and I think I ended up not talking to her for a long time because I didn't know what to do when the liking was reciprocated.  I'm afraid that awkwardness has continued to this day to some degree.

I never dated anyone through junior high or high school but my interest was peaked by a few other girls:  Sherry & Jeni to name those I remember.  My interest was peaked because they were kind toward me.  I recall Sherry always said "hi" to me in the hallway between classes & Jeni was always nice to everyone but it struck me personally in a special way at that time.  I had no self-esteem at this point.  In third grade I got Urkel glasses and felt like I was probably the biggest geek to walk the earth so any nice-ness to me was taken in my mind to be much more than someone being friendly.  I never revealed my feelings toward Sherry.  She disappeared from my life as well and I don't know what ever happened to her.  In the case of Jeni, a friend of mine wrote a love note to her and she (as she should have) informed me she was interested in friendship but didn't think a relationship beyond that would be a good idea since we didn't really know each other well enough.  I was relayed this information through a mutual friend and I played off the note as something that meant nothing...at least that's what I tried to do but I don't know how convincing I was.  I doubt I had perfected the aloofness at that point.

Alaina came along after high school whilst we attended the same community college.  We grew up together but never really had any interest in each other prior to this...I don't think.  I know I didn't have any feelings toward Alaina.  How it all came together is a bit foggy but it was during the era where I started using the Internet quite frequently.  She revealed she was interested in me in one of those surveys that go around much like they do on myspace or facebook today.  Somewhat like when I was in elementary school I was a bit unsure how to respond and I think I took a few days to do so and we did hook up eventually but the entire relationship was awkward for me and it probably was a mistake.  I only say that because I wasn't in it for the right reasons.

I hold nothing against Alaina regardless of how things went and I am certainly glad we were able to finally move beyond the pain to become friends again.  We started out just holding hands and watching movies.  We pretty much always watched movies.  I wasn't sure how to go about making the first move and she ended up doing that most of the time.  We didn't kiss until about 2 or 3 months into the relationship and that was because she was upset we hadn't so I eventually felt like I better kiss her which of course then led to watching movies and making out for the rest of the relationship.

Things fell apart when she wanted more than I could give and I had to draw the line.  She was ready for marriage and children and settling down.  I was 19 and wanting nothing more than to leave my hometown of Warren, PA.  I had begun to consider ministry as my calling so she wanted to be a pastor's wife (I must say that is always weird to me when girls made the statement they want to be a pastor's wife and I have heard it several times) and my eyes were set toward ENC, a college in Boston but the funds weren't there so I planned to return to community college.  We ended things at Creation music festival, which I still feel horrible about (though I did try to end it before we left but that wasn't acceptable).  I tried to be a leader in our little group at the festival but the breakup and whatnot kind of put a damper on the event as a whole and things didn't work out and I wanted.

We didn't exactly handle breaking up well and we weren't good at being friends.  I said a lot of things about her and toward her that were hurtful and she did the same.  Oddly, even though it wasn't a relationship I particularly cared about being a part of if I am honest about it and I wanted to end it, I was a bit upset at the emptiness she filled that was now painfully obvious.  She was a body in a place where there wasn't before and it was nice to have her around but I see now how selfish that was and unfair to her.

After Alaina there were a few girls that would peak my interest at the community college and around Warren, PA.  One girl hung around with me and my crew we called JoJo.  She was a great girl and a lot of fun but she wasn't interested in me and that was pretty apparent early on I think and she ended up with my friend Nate.  I was fine with that though I messed with Nate a little for fun.  At community college, a girl that was in one of my classes ended up sitting next to me at graduation.  We talked most of the ceremony and I came to wish I had talked to her prior to this but we wouldn't be seeing each other again.  Right after graduation I was heading to Pittsburgh for a baseball game and after that I'd begin my summer job and head off to Ohio where I could afford to go to college (I still wanted to go to Boston though).

At Mount Vernon I was determined to change the course that I was on and figured it was a start to a new life.  There were new people to become friends with and maybe someone to be in a relationship with.  I was quite frustrated in the first month or so as I couldn't seem to find the courage to interact with the girls that were intriguing...at least not in a way that produced results I was looking for.  I did find some great friends though and many of them are still great friends.

Along came Debbie after about a month and knocked me off my feet and into a dangerous spiral.  My tunnel vision created to her be perfect and she became my god for over a year.   Debbie didn't express her interest directly to me as Alaina did but I could tell and was eventually told by a friend.  My confidence was high knowing she wanted to be with me and there was no risk of rejection, much like with Alaina but that's about the end of the similarities.  I tried not to let things get out of hand but they did as we had quite the lust filled affair I believed to be love.  It seemed every three months Debbie's uncertainly surfaced and we probably should have called it quits but I apparently said the right and did the right things to convince her this was a good thing we had going on and we continued for 11 months.

Much like me when I was 19, Debbie wasn't ready to settle down and she ended up messing around with another guy so we ended right when I was about ready to ask her to marry me.  We said and did some awful things toward each other in year or so following.

That dangerous spiral I started on when we hooked up continued for several more months and I dealt with depression and suicidal tendencies as I tried to figure out a life without her and come to understand the meaning of it all.  Eventually I refocused my faith on God, the true God, and got my life under control somewhat.  Debbie and I patched things up not long ago and she and I can interact as friends.  I let her go right around the time of her wedding and on that day I did not feel any of the animosity that had plagued me on and off since her departure from my life.

Now and then I think about what we had and even though it was all ill advised there were parts I truly miss and hope to experience in the right setting again someday but as for Debbie and I, we are better people not joined by romance.

Surrounding both Alaina and Debbie was one girl I hadn't mentioned up to this point.  Laura.  I met her surrounding a mission trip to Mexico.  I still can't put my finger on it but there was something special about her but I never made a move.  My original excuse was that she lived an hour away from me (lame, I know).  One day my friend Joe and I decided to take my dad's truck and visited her not even knowing how to get to her house.  I learned on that day I have a knack for finding unknown places with little more help than a road map.  She lived on Moon Road in St. Mary's, PA and so I drove until I found Earth Road and figured Moon shouldn't be far off and I was right.  I pulled up front and asked her dad if she was home and she was.  That was pretty cool and probably the craziest thing I ever did to spend time with a girl.  I recall her asking me to attend a dance with her but I declined for no good reason and regret that still.  We talked on the phone now and then and communicated through email.  I was always captivated by her but never expressed this to her.  It seems everyone else know I was crazy about her.  She probably did to but I never had the courage to make a move.

When I hooked up with Alaina, I tried to figure out if Laura felt the same way I did but I made a bit of a mistake.  At that time there was this instant message service called ICQ (I don't know if anyone still uses this or not) and I decided that I should ask her by sending her a message but it turned out I sent that message to Alaina.  I did my best to cover up this mistake but I don't think I was very convincing.

After Alaina and I broke up, I would spend time with Laura whenever I could but never made a move because I knew I'd be leaving soon for some distant college.  Though the one hour drive wasn't a big issue anymore I was expecting to be in Boston and that distance seemed too much.  I ended up in Ohio and every time I came home I made plans to see Laura and did so.

Debbie and I hooked up over one of my winter breaks.  I was in Warren, PA for Christmas and New Years and Laura came up to the New Year's party.  I again wondered if maybe I should find out if Laura felt the same way I did but I didn't attempt to find out by any instant message system or anything.  I spent the New Year's party thinking mostly of Debbie and overcame the temptation to try to do anything to find out if there was a chance with Laura but I would continue to visit her any chance I got which was upsetting to Debbie.  I was a bit of an idiot and didn't realize this as obvious as it should have been to me.

Debbie and I broke up just before Thanksgiving break and this was when Laura and I ended up getting rather close.  We went to a movie and held hands and what not and I stayed at her house and we fell asleep on the couch.  Nate made this trip to see her with me.  When I came back home over winter break she kissed me on the cheek on New Years.  We had spent several overnights hanging out and I was determined when I saw her again over summer break I would make my move.  I was convinced I loved her but just needed to build up the courage to tell her.

Laura ended up meeting a guy and getting seriously involved with him.  It killed me to see her with him knowing I missed my opportunity but could I blame her?  I had done the same thing to her and if she felt anything like I did it had to have killed her too.  We somewhat lost touch over the next year.  When I moved back to PA to work in a ministry, Laura came to spend New Year's with me.  She never mentioned the old boyfriend but I hated it when people brought up the failed romances to me after the fact so I didn't ever ask.  Shortly after this I ended up moving back to Ohio and came to find out he had broken up with her and probably broke her heart.  She assumed I knew and I told her I didn't know and didn’t want to bring it up.  I of course wondered about whether she was still with him but didn't want to bring it up.  I just wanted to enjoy the night.

From that New Year's Day we never saw each other again.  She contacted me when she planned to join the military because she needed a reference from me for some reason.  Next thing I knew she was getting married.  I thought about doing one of those movie style declarations of my love to her before she got married but that never happened.  Her husband contacted me after I moved to Cincinnati needing my information for that military reference she needed and I somehow offended him and he went on a tirade about the evil of hippies.  I decided at that point I didn't want anything to do with him and thus figure I will probably never see her again.  I have moved on and have no desire to pursue Laura anymore even though I regret having never taken the risk of finding out if we both felt the same way.

Back at college in Mount Vernon there were a few post-Debbie girls but things didn't pan out.  A few happened to be way cool and nice; I met them in the aftermath of the break up and it wasn't a good idea but I wanted something to happen.  A couple made if clear early on they weren't interested and I respected that and we had good friendships without expectation.

There is one particular girl, Emily, who confused me in what she was wanting, if anything, from me.  She seemed to reciprocate the interest and this was the first real perceived opportunity since Debbie and I thought we were coming together quite nicely.  I was feeling that I should disclose some of the things in my past she probably had a right to know about since honesty is important but before we ever got around to sitting down and talking it out she seemed to change her interest toward someone else and I ended up hibernating for a while getting caught up on my schoolwork that I had let go most of the semester.  We really didn't hang out much until the end of the school year and we went our separate ways.  We ended up getting together again, so to speak, a few years later and it was more of the same confusing circumstances and ended with her seemingly no longer interested at all.  I never could figure her out and decided that it wasn't worth trying to figure out anyway.  It was way too complicated for me.  I got the feeling she wanted me to be someone slightly different that who I was but I could be wrong...at any rate, if she couldn't like me for who I am then there wasn't any point in going forward.

In the Mansfield area was AshLee.  She was a member of Shelby church and it seemed she was interested in me but at that time she was quite young and I didn't want to get into anything like that.  Around the time she turned 18 she was seeing someone else.  She had an interest in some good music so I made one mix for her after she went on and on about another one I made for all my friends.  When she started going to college we began to hang out again (when she was single) over her winter break and she caught my eye in a significant way.  I thought things might have been heading in the right direction again yet I was guarded. She and I stopped communicating for some reason.  She ended up pregnant and I never pursued after this figuring there was probably someone else involved.  Other than that any girl while I was in Mansfield that caught my eye were short lived interests as I would find out they were seeing someone else and I wanted no part of that.

Since being in Cincinnati, I have come to meet a lot of people and found many acquaintances and a good number of friends.  The girl situation?  I don't even know what to say.  There is a defense mechanism I believe I have created since that break up with Debbie.  I had opened myself up completely to Debbie and have not really been able to do that for anyone since being hurt so badly.  Even though you are my friends I hold you at arms length even though I am trying to be an open book and honest much like a personal hero of mine.  I haven't quite figured out how to breakdown this self-created barrier that I use to guard myself from pain.  Please believe me when I say I am trying and it will take time.  Be patient with me if you can and I will one day let you in as far as you chose to be.

When it comes to becoming friends with people I am more of a wallflower at first and begin talking to one person out of a group who also is generally more reserved and not the center of attention.  We end up having our own little conversations and maybe become friends more than acquaintances.  I am never the person that will be the center of attention and usually try to avoid it when it’s directed toward me.  There has always been the loud person or people in every friend group I am part of that demand attention.  I and usually those who become my closer friends (usually more so than the rest of the acquaintances) are fine not being the attention and it seems to work well.  As different as we all are we all seem to be friends anyway and I love having friends of all sorts.  It's more interesting that way.

In regards to romance I am very awkward.  I have found myself to be someone that acts aloof (or distant if ya don't know).  I play it cool but I really don't have much self-confidence.  I never have taken a risk.  I don't really even make much of an effort.  I don't know how many times I wish I would yet I don't and I end up coming up quite ticked at myself for not taking a risk or at least making an effort.  I really don't like this part of who I am but I don't know how to change it because it is who I am.  Any time I have tried to change it I get nervous and revert back to this.  How will I ever find a romantic type relationship by being like this?

In writing all this I am not necessarily feeling incomplete or anything.  Valentine's day always tends to be one of those days that single people are very aware they are single and I believe even the most content desire to some degree a relationship on a day like this.  I usually am quite content.  I know the "rocknroll" life I have lived the last 4 or 5 years wouldn't have been possible without the freedom I have had.  I don't necessarily want to lose that freedom but it would be nice to have someone who is always there.  I know that God is always there and I am totally content with that but I think many understand what I mean that it would be nice to have someone physically there you can depend on to pretty much be there no matter what.  Someone to call up and do something with.  Maybe it's not that far off...who knows?

One more Valentine's Day gone alone.

The City of Cincinnati has zoning plans that will adversely affect Churches & social services

This video is from today's service.  It regards a plan in Cincinnati that would inhibit our ability to minister to our neighbors throughout the city where we would no longer be permitted to provide social services.  We could only come together for worship services in our church buildings within city limits.  The Constitution protects the rights of faith based organizations and the separation of Church & State goes both ways.  If anyone should be allowed to provide social services it is those involved in the church.  Of course it seems the church flourishes all the more when persecuted but we still must stand against injustices such as this.

Your support in this matter is absolutely needed.  If you are in the Cincinnati area and can attend the meeting on Tuesday, February 10th at City Hall, Please Do and pray that we can overcome this injustice.

Please watch this video and then read the documents below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1JGBW8-u0s

The freedom to provide life changing programs and social services by non-profits and faith based organizations are in jeopardy.  The City of Cincinnati’s Planning Commission will make 32 revisions to the Zoning Code that will limit the number, type and location of non-profit organizations, faith-based groups and churches throughout every neighborhood in the city of Cincinnati.  Please mark your calendar and plan to attend a Special Public Meeting on Tuesday February 10, 5:30PM at City Hall to voice your opinion regarding these changes. 

 

At Tuesday’s meeting the Planning Commission will review and listen to public feedback on the 32 proposed revisions to the current Zoning Code.  These proposed changes will regulate social services, non-profits, churches and other faith-based group more stringently than any other business, including sexually oriented business in the city of Cincinnati. 

 

One of the many changes if approved, non-profits, churches and other organization will not be able to add new programs, expand or build new structures without the express and written consent of the Director of Planning of the City of Cincinnati. The proposed changes to the Zoning Code are a harmful to those he needs the help the most during one of the most economically difficult times in our nation’s history. 

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What Do These Text Amendments Mean To You?? 
 

• If you are a “Religious Assembly” that currently offers social services or community programs, you will become a “non-conforming use”. 

• If you are a “Social Service Facility” whose current operations will not meet the requirements of the proposed amendments, you will become a “non-conforming use”. 

      What is a “non-conforming use”?

• May continue exactly “as is”.
• Cannot expand building.
• Can add services within existing building but only with approval of Hearing Examiner following public hearing.
• Depending on location, may be able to substitute use with Hearing Examiner approval following public hearing.
• If building is “substantially” destroyed, it cannot rebuild.

 

What if you decide to relocate your social service facility to another location in the City? 

      If the use is under 25,000 square feet it must: 

• Be permitted in the zoning district.
• Must meet “service goals” established in text amendments.
• Must be operated by nonprofit/charitable organization in Ohio.
• You must document that there is not another social service facility within 500’.
• You must provide buffer yards.

•  
  If the use is over 25,000 square feet it must:

• Be permitted in District or approved by the Hearing Examiner as a Conditional Use follow a public hearing.
• Must meet “service goals” established in text amendments.
• Must be operated by nonprofit/charitable organization in Ohio.
• You must document that there is not another social service facility within 1,000’.
• Must document that the site is 500’ from any schools, Single Family Residence District or Riverfront/Recreational District.

 

      All social service facilities must supply a “Control Plan” that includes: 

1. Facility description
2. Management plan
3. Litter control plan
4. Security plan
5. Loitering and noise control plan
6. Crime prevention plan through environmental design
7. Point of contact

 

• The “Control Plan” is to be reviewed and approved by the Director of the Department of City Planning and Building. 

If ALL of these requirements are met/approved, THEN you can move forward with the project.

Not My Messiah; Not My President

Upon this Inauguration, as with every other during my 28 years of existence, I will go about my day as if it were any other day.  It is a Tuesday and I will work my shift at my job and in the evening I may catch a movie or I might edit some video from one of the five or so film projects I have saved on the hard drive.  This will be the sixth Inauguration and the third in which I took part in the electoral process.  I never paid attention to this spectacle any other year and other than what I have learned from the news, I won't be paying much attention this year either.  I was usually in school and the last time around I missed due to work as I will this year (and had I been given the day off I'd enjoy sleeping in or something else unproductive).  I can’t say I had any real desire to see this nor did I have any reason that I would not see it either; it just doesn’t matter much to me (though I find it outrageous that this event will cost nearly $200 million considering that we are led to believe the economy is in extremely dire shape).

In the years through 2004 when I voted I didn’t necessarily take much time to be informed.  I was allowed by the law to start voting in 1998.  The times that I did vote, I voted Republican because I grew up in a Republican home (if I did not vote Republican is what for whoever my mother was telling me I should vote for).  I never really looked at any of the issues and all that seemed to matter to me was abortion and gun rights.

My mom seems rather informed politically but I’m not so sure about my father; he was upset that when I studied under the “Liberal Arts” program at community college, fearful I would become a liberal I suppose.  My mom had to explain that the liberal of Liberal Arts was not necessarily of the political nature (of course it seems that the politically liberal mindset was presented to me during my college years but more so at Mount Vernon than community college).

I voted for George Bush in 2000 and any election I voted in prior or after through 2004 I voted generally within the Republican ticket.  In 2004 I was a bit more aware of the issues but it seemed that the alternative to Bush was a man who had nothing to say, no plan of action, and whose only quality of note apparently was that he was not Bush.  I knew of the existence of Ralph Nader but nothing really beyond that.  The decision as I understood it was quite simple to vote yet again for Bush.

After 2004, things seemed to become much less black and white but very gray.  It was difficult for me to see much worth in war yet I would not attend the protests because I held nothing against those people who chose (or didn't chose but ended up) in a career in the military.  I have friends who choose to join the ranks of the military.  I believe those who choose this lifestyle deserve the respect that anyone does even when we do not agree with the cause.  The ones that did not choose but felt pressure to join due to economic reasons though deserve other options (and of course if they still choose the military then so be it).  I believe that Bush made decisions in regards to the war that were not easy decisions though they may not have been the best choice.  Would I want that responsibility? No.  One area where I feel Bush was in error was bringing religion into these wars.  I believe this was a very dangerous thing to do and may have caused this war to possibly been more deadly and destructive (not that war by nature is not deadly or destructive).  I personally, do not like war nor would I want any part of the war.  I do not feel that violence, including war, can rid the world of evil since violence in itself seems to be an expression of evil through the destruction and death that comes of it.  In saying this, I don’t necessarily see a problem in defending oneself against evil.

Gun ownership has always been a big issue for those like my family.  We are hunters and own a number of guns for the purpose of shooting these creatures to eat for dinner (this is true of those in my family...I am not speaking of all hunters...especially not those who kill just for sport and do not use the creature for more than a trophy).  Due to this, I have always voted based on the right to continue in this lifestyle.  Having since moved to the city where gun violence is an issue, I have come to find myself conflicted.  I still believe that the hunters should certainly be allowed to have the rights to gun ownership we have held since the establishment of the United States and the writing of the Constitution with its Bill of Rights.  Basically, those who have followed the laws of this land should have that privilege as given in the Bill of Rights (though the wording of that particular article can cause controversy on what exactly the right entails).  The gun violence typically comes from those who are not abiding by the laws therefore violating the Bill of Rights anyway and should not have guns.  I am not that convinced those of us that are law abiding citizens necessarily need to have guns in the urban setting either.  I feel, though with the best intentions to protect oneself, that needless death still may come from law-abiding yet trigger-happy gun owners.  So where does that leave me when voting on the gun issue?  I think I will probably continue to be one who would defend the articles of the Bill of Rights as they are written, including that regarding the bearing of arms, as I have all along and I would vote against any amendment presented to limit this right.

Abortion and family values are important to me and are issues I consider when voting.  The abortion issue is a bit limited though when it comes to my belief in the sanctity of life.  Life is sacred from conception to death.  Therefore, I oppose abortion and believe that we should do more to support those in the hard situations caused by unwanted pregnancies such as be more open to adoption.  Abortion should never be used for the sake of convenience.  I do not believe that to be responsible at all.  Anyone knows how a pregnancy occurs and if they cannot control their urges that should not give them the right to end a life.  I oppose the death penalty.  I was in a discussion that could have been much longer with someone once about this.  They believe the death penalty is biblically mandated.  I suppose if you take the law as written in ancient Hebrews time then it is in fact biblically mandated.  Of course those who want to uphold that ancient law should also uphold the entirety of that law and I know for a fact this person has not done so and therefore is guilty and under the death penalty themselves just as I am as well as all humanity (thank God for grace and sending Christ into the world to save it).  I oppose the death penalty because Christ showed a better way of forgiveness when he did not stone the adulterous women for her sin when he was without sin.  I oppose the death penalty because I do not believe this nation is a Christian nation (though loosely founded on basic biblical principles no longer held close to heart of politicians or lawmakers as a whole) nor do I believe that our human judges are god and cannot carry the responsibility to decide who should live or die.  I oppose war as it deals death to not only the evil doers (to coin the popular Bush phrase) but also to the innocent/victims of these other nations we consider evil.  Though I oppose the war, I also oppose leaving a country, like Iraq, in a mess after military occupation as I believe would be the case if we were to leave tomorrow nor do I think a timetable needs to be announced for reasons presented by Mr. McCain in his campaign as it would just give the so called evildoers a timetable to plan their evil deeds.

Environmentally, I think that doing everything we can to preserve the world created for our inhabitation and use is important.  I have noticed through the last several years that many Christians seem very opposed to the ideas of environmentalist.  I cannot say what truth there is in the Al Gore (amongst others) propaganda about Global Warming but regardless of that should we not look for ways to protect this planet?  Should we also not look for fuel alternatives for the purpose of not only cutting down on pollution but on dependence on nations that (as McCain would say) don’t like us much?  It seems that Christians should be the first to step up in the ideas of environmental conservation, as this seems to be a biblical mandate from the time God created man to care for the earth.

Since 2004, my ideology in these areas became more clear to me and thus my support for one party is no longer possible as neither of the two major parties support all of these concepts.  I can say I became somewhat liberal in my desire to see social action taken to help the poor but I do not believe that we should necessarily expect this to be the government’s job.  I believe that it is the Christ followers that should absolutely be first to not only call for social action but to take social action.  The government is certainly also welcome to take part in this (as they should take part in helping society but the problem with government is it seems to like to take over control then regulate) but I don’t look to them to be the savior.  As followers of Christ (who is the Savior) shouldn’t we be the ones to embody Christ in these times?

I remained with my conservative roots in family values and life (though I take it further it seems that the traditional pro life movement has gone) and I believe all life is valued at all ages.  I will vote conservatively when it comes to the issue of gun rights because I do not believe voting that way means those bringing violence to the streets are those that this right protects therefore it should not cause a rise in violence…if anything it should cause decline.

I believe I have come to understand what conservative government means a lot more clearly than before.  Government should be limited in its power.  I believe this because I believe that was the intention of those who founded the United States and were the original writers of the Constitution, after all, those who left Europe to begin a new settlement in America did so to get out from under the oppression of the old government.  I believe that currently the government of this nation is much too powerful and is hungry for more.  

I did not vote after 2004 until the primary election in the spring of 2008.  I did not vote because I was not informed of those candidates and issues on the ballots where I lived in those years.  I did my best in 2008 to be informed prior to voting on both the issues and the candidates locally, statewide, and nationally.  I found it very difficult to make a decision when it came time to vote for the President this past November.  Early on I knew I would not vote Democrat but I also was not that happy with the choice on the Republican ticket (oh why could Ron Paul not have won the nomination and simplified things?).  I watched the debates hoping that my mind could be changed but I did not hear a thing from the Presidential candidates that I didn’t hear already in the mudslinging campaign ads (this method bothers me and caused me to not care at all about the 2006 election which I knew the likely outcome anyway).  It was in the Vice Presidential campaign I finally heard something that I was hoping to hear.  Sarah Palin made several statements about the government stepping aside and letting citizens live their lives.  This is what pretty much made me vote in favor of her (not in favor of Mr. McCain).  It wasn’t until I went in the booth that I was completely convinced I would vote this way, as there was a conflict within me.  I researched all the independents and lesser parties prior to voting and many of them I wrote off rather quickly as it was very apparent I would not vote for them because they were not at all embodying things that I feel are worthy.  I came to a decision to either vote Republican or vote Libertarian or Constitutional (Libertarian and Constitutional were essentially the same though one took an official stand on the sanctity of life where the other did not though I suppose it was understood).  I agree with these two lesser parties because they support cutting the government back to what it is meant to be.  Citizens would again be free from oppressive laws, after all, was that not the original American dream?

I spoke at length with my friend, Ross, (who is much more knowledgeable on politics than I am) about the fact that these particular lesser parties embody my views more so than either major party yet would it be a wasted vote to show my support in such principles.  Ross and I felt the same that we like much of what we saw in Sarah Palin (at least more so than many other Republicans and especially McCain).  So I voted Republican though part of me did not want to.

In some of my reading lately I have been digesting Jesus For President by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw (I recommend this book to anyone).  In this book, I have read to the section where examples are given of people living out Christ in these days.  Despite whoever is president of this nation my allegiance will remain in my Messiah.  I no longer pledge my allegiance to America (or its flag) and haven’t done so for quite some time (I actually tend to avoid the National Anthem at sporting events respectfully).  I do not write any of this as a call to anarchy; though I have that view to a certain degree I am not trying to be a revolutionary or leader of some sort of movement.  I felt the need to write my reasons why it does not matter to me who is taking office of the President.  I do not believe it will affect me anyway.  Throughout the book of Jesus For President it is made clear that Christ’s followers were not meant to be endorsed by or part of the empire (Rome or America) but to be a peculiar people living in this world but not of it.  That is what I am trying to do in my life and in my community amongst my family and friends.  I will not actively go out to tear down this establishment necessarily but if my faith in Christ is in conflict with any laws of this land then following those laws will come second to my faith.

At this point Christianity can be lived in America for the most part without persecution.  In fact, it is protected by the Bill of Rights along with any other religion one might choose.  I do not believe it will always be that way.  I know of a situation where the American government has attempted to interfere with the pro life march event that coincides with this year's Martin Luther King and Inauguration festivities (one particular group, Stand True, remains steadfast in their efforts to spread their message that life is a sacred God given gift but their freedom of expression is being restricted and thus the Bill of Rights are not being upheld by a government that has become too powerful).  It seems when it is persecuted, true Christian faith comes to life and maybe along with it the miracles that seem lost in this modern society that seems to act as though it doesn't need God.  I often wonder if my faith is anywhere near as strong as it needs to be, as it is not tested in the way those persecuted have been (and how much faith is that of a mustard seed?).  I do believe though and I do try to live my life for Christ in everything I do.  I fail unfortunately much more than I should but I try again and persevere.  I live my life by biblical principles and whatever happens in America or the world will not change that.  I wish that was the case with all Christians but it seems to be that few are willing to separate from the false security of the empire that has tamed this faith.

So why was I opposed to voting for the Democratic Party and Barack Obama?  It has nothing at all to do with race (and I hope if you really read what I wrote so far you would find this to be true).  I was opposed Obama because I do not see a real leader in the man though he does speak awfully convincingly (yet I noticed that there are a lot of umms and uhhs when he speaks).  The sounds and utterances that become our American English language are great but what matters most to me is action and that is something I have not seen much of from Obama (though I sincerely hope now that he is President he will do good work).  I do not believe he can fulfill many of his promises.  I have a big problem with his extreme stand when it comes to keeping abortion legal (I do not understand how I can vote for someone with such an extreme view and was a bit thankful he had other positions I disagreed with so I would not feel it was all about a single issue). Voting records fall into what I mean by action meaning more than the words one speaks and though Obama says that no one is for abortion his voting record showed that he (and others) are in fact for abortion to a very dangerous extreme.  I disagree with the big government (with its naturally higher taxes) he and Democrats seem to support where we, the citizens, apparently are not able to make decisions for ourselves.  In saying all this I did not support McCain either (remember I already wrote that my vote was in favor of Palin).  I agreed with his pro life stand but I oppose his appearance of being very war hungry and his support of a big government as well (bailouts of businesses will not solve an economic emergency and only leads to more government involvement in our lives but I suppose I should be grateful for the economic stimulus checks where my tax money is returned to me  for me to essentially give it right back to them).  If Democrats could be a people of social action without advocating big government (I have been wondering for some time why the rocknroll culture is so enamored with the Democratic Party that advocates big government when rocknroll, specifically the punk subculture, was an antiestablishment movement fueled by anarchist sentiment) and abortion then I would certainly be more likely to want to vote in their favor (for the record some of the local offices that I voted for in 2008 I voted for this type of Democrat). 

It is nice that a racial barrier has been broken with the election of President Obama.  The young black males in my community have found a renewed sense of hope of becoming something more than a gang member or drug dealer in seeing President Obama take office.  This is a hope that is necessary and one that we are glad to see.  Many of these kids talk of athletes and rappers as their role models.  Unfortunately, there do not appear to be too many good adult male role models that are black in my community.

Some people, it seems, voted based on being part of history of electing someone who isn't an old white guy. As important as breaking that barrier is, I do not believe that race, color, or sex should be the deciding reason to vote for someone.  For anyone that did vote based solely on that fact (and I hope that was a small percentage of the population but I know there were at least some) I hope he or she votes on the issues and qualifications at stake in four years with whoever ends up being our choices.

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day where equality is celebrated and this year there has been a lot of emphasis placed on the Inauguration of President Obama.  There are certainly still equality issues to be resolved in America and to many, this election has been a big step in righting some wrongs.  Equality is something I believe in but not at the cost of taking rights away from another group of people.  Equality comes with freedom for all and unity; not from the oppression of anyone.

I have respect for President Bush.  He is a human being that did the things he did because he believed them to be the right things to do.  He had many difficult decisions to make and he made them, right or wrong.  I wish him well now that he is done.  I am sure he is happy to no longer have to deal with the pressure of that office.  Unlike President Bush, I do not have unfailing faith in America but in God.  America has been a fine empire but it is still an empire, a man-made establishment that cannot last forever.

To President Obama I wish my best and hope his presidency is successful as human success is measured. I hope the fears of politically conservative are unfounded and he does not fulfill the promises he made to the pro-choice community.  I hope he does not create the big government it appears he is planning and in the event he does not succeed I hope he does not leave things any messier than they already are.  President Obama has his chance now to prove himself worthy of the Presidency and there is a large Democratic majority.  I do not think this is the best situation since this form of government should be representative of all (and this is why I hope that parties other than Democrat and Republican will one day have a chance).  At the same time, the blame should no longer be placed on the Republicans when problems occur for at least a few years (a side note:  since 2006, the Democrat majority Congress did nothing of worth and had such a low approval rating that it seemed quite absurd that people voted in more Democrats).

When Barack Obama was elected it was as if America found its Messiah.  It seems many think he will be a savior.  Personally I have one Messiah who is embodied within my soul and walked this earth around 2000 years ago (yet lives eternally) to be the example of love that God intended to show the world through the Hebrews who were to follow the God given laws but failed to do so.  My Messiah is the Savior of All and the servant of all.  My Messiah is bigger than America and bigger than a presidency.  It is bigger than the American Dream…a dream that no longer appeals to me if it even exists at all.

This election, for the first time, I did not cast a winning vote.  In the coming years, I will continue to vote and do my best to be informed.  I will cast votes that reflect my principles and beliefs but no election results, candidate, or issues will change my life.

My allegiance is to a King and Kingdom not of this world therefore my apologies President Obama and President Bush (and Clinton, Bush, and Reagan in my lifetime and the 39 before) but you are no longer my President; you certainly are not my messiah.